Immortal Solitude, Soon

After Much Reflection And Recollection, I Realize, Indeed, Solitude Is Really The Best Kind Of Life For Me. Not That I Want To Be Alone Eternally, But Just That, It's Only With The Distance Can I Really Enjoy Friendship. Because... Uh... Well, This Is Hard To Put In Words Actually.

Put It This Way. Only With The Distance And The Lack Of Propinquity Can I Truly Enjoy To The Fullest What It Feels Like To Have Friends. Without Screwing Up. Yes, Main Point Being 'Without Screwing Up'. I Mean, I Like The Idea Of Friends, And How They Are There When You Need Them And All, But I'm Always Scared I Screw Things Up. Because I Always Do, Hence The Fear. Because It's Nice To Know That There Are People That You Can Really Talk With, Crap With Even, People That You Can Really Feel Comfortable And Cozy And Whatnot In Their Presence. And When You Find These People, You Really Don't Wanna Let The Shit Hit The Fan And Mess Things Up Between You And Them. Which Happens WAY Too Often To Me.

I Remember There Was A Time That Some Shit Happened And A Friend Of Mine And I Myself Never Spoke To Each Other For More Than 1/2 A Year. Something I Said/Done, But Never Found Out What, Even Till This Day. But Thanks To The Magic That Is Time And Space, Things Are Fixed And Now We Are More Than Just On Talking Terms; Back To Being Really Good Friends.

And Now The Exact Same Tragedy Is Happening; Something I Said AND Done, And I Know Perfectly What They Are, BUT, After The Shit Hits The Fan It Splatters Around The Floor With A Totally Different Pattern, And A Familiar One At That; One That I Doubt I'll Ever Be Prepared To Face, No Matter How Many Times It Recurs.

I Myself Lost Count Of How Many Times Such A Fate Befell Me. Which Is Why I Finally Decided, Solitude Is For The Best, For Myself And People Worthy Enough To Be My Friends, Because With The Scarce Interaction I Won't Get The Chance To Mess Our Relationship Up, And If They Deem Me Unworthy Of Being Their Friend, Then They Can Just Forget I Ever Existed. There, A Rare Win-Win Situation In A Zero-Sum-Game World.

And Since I'm A Damn Weird Person Who Only Gets Homesick Upon Returning Home After A VERY Long Time Away From It, I Also Find That I Miss Friends When Communicating With Them Directly After A VERY Long Time Of Not Keeping In Touch. And Y'all Who Know Me Well Would Also Know That I Don't Communicate Much With People, Let Alone In Person. So Whenever After A Some Weeks/Months When I Decide To Text/IM/Call Someone Or Receive Them From Someone, It'll Just Strike Me; How Damn Long Was It Since We Last Talked, Damn I Miss This Person. Even More So When We Actually Meet/Gather In Person.

I Start To Miss The Guys Of 19 When They Ask Me To Join A Game Of DotA Through GG. I Miss Them Most When We Actually Gather At One Place For A LAN Game Of DotA.

I Start To Miss The Girls Of 19 When They Call For A Meeting To Discuss Our Next Trip Somewhere For The Semester Break. I Miss Them The Most When All Of 19 Gather During Our Outing Before Bed For Something Like A Pillowtalk Session For The Whole Group.

I Start To Miss The People Of TB1 (That Are Not Here In Kampar) When I'm Informed That They'll Be At Some Event That I Can Make It To, Or When Some Of Them Plan To Actually Come Up North To Kampar Itself. I Miss Them Most When I Actually Meet And Talk To Them, Be It Here In Kampar Or Wherever We Have Our Foundation Reunion, Although As Y'all Know, I Won't Be The One Talking Much.

So To Every Single Friend Of Mine Who Would Willingly And Sincerely Reciprocate These Feelings And Emotions Of Friendship, Especially Those With Me In May 2009 PY Intake, Please Forgive Me, For I May Not Appreciate Y'all The Way Y'all Would Me At This Time. Perhaps After We Graduate, Go Our Separate Ways And Live Our Separate Lives, Will I Truly Value The Priceless Blessing That Is Your Companionship During These 3 Years In UTAR. And I'll Dedicate A Masterpiece Of Mine To All Y'all Who Have Given Me The Privilege Of Your Company When I Can Achieve My (Almost) Immortal Solitude.

Speaking Of Which, The Poem By The Title 'Immortal Irony' That I Promised Y'all Is Complete, But I Unwittingly Added Too Much Juicy Stuff Into It That I Decided It Won't Be Posted Anytime Soon. Perhaps After The Dust Of The Incident Has Died Down.

Adieu To Y'all. And I Thank Y'all For Really Adding Spice To My Life.

Immortal Silence

200th Post. But I'm Not Celebrating Anything Or Whatever. Instead I Dedicate This Post To The One Simple Minded Fella Who I Neglected So Badly, But Very Much Saved My Skin During These Troubled Times. Partly Thanks To Him I Have Not Yet Decided To Let Others Find Pieces Of Me On The Train Tracks.

A speechless soul who lives so close,
Who understands not my poem and prose,
Although he doesn't act very smart,
His funny antics warms the heart.

One which constantly wants to play,
Which tenderly wipes my sweat away,
When the going gets tough for me,
He comes over and gives me glee.

I'll never know how much he understands,
But he feels my heart through my hands,
When I rub his head with a gloomy heart,
He sits next to me, silent and smart.

Neglected him I have for so long,
Simple minded was all I thought he was,
But indeed he proved me wrong,
He knows how to heal with his paws.

When I talk to him, nod is all he'd do,
Not a hint of disagreement he'd strew,
He whines whenever I sigh,
Perhaps stopping me from wanting to cry.

Though into my life he suddenly came,
A valuable companion he became,
White coffee we call this playful soul,
Man's best friend, with a noble role.

Adieu To Y'all. No Matter How Hard This Screwed Up Life Is Getting, It's Not Gonna Change The Fact That It Feels Too Good To Be Back.

Immortal AWEZOMENESS!!!

Before That...

The Previous Poem Of Mine Made Me Think That I Might Actually Be A Very Bad Poet. Why? Because When Mum Read It, She Gave Me An Interpretation That I Never Expected, And I Was "Oh Crap, People Could Get The Wrong Message Out Of It" Before She Clarified That She Thought So Because She Knew The Full Story Of What Happened And Saw Things From A Different Perspective While Others Might Still See The Poem For What I Intended It To Be.

Got Me In Shock For A Moment. It's Like Saying That Having Your Arm Chopped Off Is A Good Thing. Then She Said When She Knew My Arm Was Infected With An Incurable Kind Of Infection, Of Course It's A Good Thing To Get It Amputated. But Then, People Aren't Supposed To Know Or Even Care About What Happened To The Arm; That's Beside The Point.

That Was Quite The Relief For Me. But That's Not What's So Immortally Awesome That I Wanted To Share With Y'all. Fuck All Them People Who Think So. And I Think I'm Not Gonna Restrict My Words Anymore If They Fit The Situation.

So What Is So Totally Worthy Of Me Making Such An Exclaimed Exaggeration? This Is:



And This Is Them Separated, In Case Some Of You Can't Tell Which Sound Came From Which Instrument:





Notice Funtwo's Part Is A Little Longer Because It's The Full Canon.

And Yes, It's The Famous One Arranged By JerryC. So For All Of Y'all Who Wanna See The Original By JerryC And/Or Other People Who Are Doing Similar Stuff, Well, Youtube Is Always There.

This Damn Piece Has Got Me Whipping My Head Up, Down And Around Ever Since I First Heard The 2 Instruments Combined. Really Electrified The Blood Out Of My Ears And Brain. It Gave Me A Very High Mood That Made Me Do Really Stupid Things. REALLY Stupid Things. Like Whippin' My Head Around While Cycling To Campus, Whippin' My Head Around While Eating, Whippin' My Head Around While Yelling My Lungs Out And Cycling In The Middle Of The Night, Whippin' My Head Around While Eating And Talking To People, Whippin' My Head Around Instead Of The Hand-Wave To Say "Hi" Or "Bye" And Finally, Whippin' My Head Around Whenever I See Something That Might Potentially Depress Me, Piss Me Off And Everything Along Those Lines. Notice Everything Involves Me Whippin' My Head Around. Yes. I Am THAT Hooked Onto It. Which I'm Actually Damn Fucking Glad I Did Them. Whippin' My Head Around While Doing Everyday Things. Because I Look Forward To Be A Crazy Person For The Next 3 Weeks. Balance Out The Equation For A Bit.

So Yeah. Adieu To Y'all. And It REALLY FEELS DAMN FUCKING GOOD To Be Back!!! IMD!!! HAS RETURNED!!!

Immortal Release

As I hear the two lovebirds sing,
I know,
The bell of pain within me will ring,
But in doing so I set two souls free,
Myself, and the one bound to me.

With perfect harmony I see them fly,
In perfect unison I watch them soar,
It breaks my heart so much I could die,
But a worthy sacrifice it is,
For one I infinitely adore.

I now hear happiness in the tone,
In the song that you sing, that you've made known.
I sense that your heart is no more alone,
Then atoned I have for sins my own.

With a heavy heart I let you go,
Your ruffled feathers still as white as snow,
Just leave me be here down below,
Let your passionate heart blossom and grow.

If you've chosen the one to take my place,
Then with it goes the right to embrace,
The one of beauty and uncommon grace,
And this shadow will soon be erased.

Spread your wings and fly, my dearest dove,
Soar the skies with your one above,
My purest blessings to you with love,
Rest never again on another glove.

A Break From Immortality

Heheh. Thought Of Giving This Poetry Streak A Timeout And Just Blabber Whatever Comes To Mind. Because, Some Things Are Just So Pathetic That Writing Them In Poems Would Just Be An Epic Dishonour To Poetry.

To Start Off, Who/What The Fuck Is Flooding Spamlinks As Comments? And They're All In Chinese Characters! Dammit, If You Want The Message To Get Across, And To Me, Put It In English!

And Of Course There Are Things That Are A Little Too Meaningless To Be Made Grand Through Poetry.

Which Is My Sudden Addiction To The Word 'Immortal' Has Gotten Certain Parties To Think That The Poems Before Are In A Series. Well, Maybe They Are, I Myself Have Not Decided On That, But It Was It Ever Intended To Be So. Maybe It Will Be, If I Decide That It Is Indeed Appropriate To Do That.

I Was Sick (And Still A Little Unwell) For The Past 4 Days But Every Night I Think Back And Remember How Trying Was The First 2 Weeks Of The Semester, And I Feel So Strong And Healthy Again. This Really Shows That Nothing Can Screw My Body Up Worse Than My Own Emotions. Heck, I Dare Say Even AIDS Is Inferior To The Havoc That I Can Bring Upon Myself.

And With That Short Report, Adieu To Y'all. And It Still Feels So Damn Good To Be Back.

Immortal Return

Unwittingly, my plight is known to all,
I hope this does not build a brick wall,
Replacing the volatile air between,
Making things worse,
Than how it has ever been.

But since it has already come to this,
Then you should know my thoughts as it is,
Thoughts that I've never found the right words for,
But now, would not matter anymore.

I know not how you feel right now,
This knowledge to me you would not endow,
So this time let me be the first to share,
What I think of this and how I'd fare.

This is what we need, some personal space,
Our own paths we'll take at our own sweet pace,
I fear I would just do even more,
Actions that will turn things sore,
So a distance I shall keep from thee,
Until it is gone, your fear towards me.

But now, we need not do this anymore,
No more reason to do this for,
In this emotion I no longer dwell,
And so far I think I've done quite well.

The pieces on my side are in place,
Eager I am to close this case,
Passed I have the most trying phase,
All that is left is to clear this haze.

This unfinished business I have ended,
The broken pieces I have mended,
I leave the rest up to you,
For what you do, only you'd have a clue.

Immortal Race - Tribute To Initial D OP, ED & OST

I Think This Is The One Post That Includes A Regular, Everyday Usage Of Words After 4 Straight Posts Purely In Poem Form. And I Still Don't Actually Confidently Consider Them Poems Because:

Firstly, I Have No Idea How Imaginative, Cryptic Or Indirect The Words Must Be Before It Is Actually Considered A Poem, And Secondly, Because They're All Written Because Of Certain Activating Events In Life, Be It Mine Or Those Around Me, And Because Of That, Involved Parties Would Instantly Know What's Going On Upon Reading, Making It Require Close To Zero Imagination To Comprehend What The Words Mean Or Who/What/Why/When/Where They Refer To.

But Screw All That. I'm Still Not Gonna Place Too High Expectations On Myself Just Yet. Maybe After I Start Publishing Some Books, Then We're Talking Quality.

And By The Way, To All Of Y'all Who Wanna Take Them Off This Page And Claim Them As Your Own, Feel Free To Do So If You Don't Believe In Karma, Because I Know I Don't. After All, You'd Probably Only Get Robbed Of All Your Life's Savings And Get All Your Hard Work Credited To Someone Else In What, The Next Life? The Life After Next? By That Time It Wouldn't Actually Matter, Would It? As Long As You Rob All you Can In This Life, Who Cares About The Next When It Is Debatable From The Start If People Actually Have Next Lives Instead Of Having Their Souls Going Straight To Heaven/Hell? Alright, Maybe Debate Isn't Exactly The Right Word, But Since I Can't Think Of The Best Word To Be Used, This Will Have To Do.

So Yeah, As Mentioned At The Top, This Post Is A Tribute Dedicated To The Artists, Composers etc. Of All The Initial D OP, ED And OST, For Their Songs Kept Me Sane And Alive During What Was Probably The Most Trying 3 Weeks Of My Life. And In Every Verse/Stanza, You'll Find A Reference To One Or More Of The Songs. No Copyright Infringement Here; Only A Tribute.

With the Blazin' Beat we burn through the track,
This burning desire goes off and back,
Our passion lighting up the night,
Our pitch black spirit has come to light.

To all my friends, I say "Let's Go, Come On!"
To all our foes I say "bring it on!"
Beatin', dancin', Can You Feel The Rhythm?
This will be our fighting anthem.

Fly To Me, To The Moon And Back,
With the powerful punch that we pack,
Fly With Me, Far Away From Here,
We'll go Around The World, They'll See Our Fire.

Let us Break In2 The Nite,
Pedal to the metal, let us take flight,
Down the road at the speed of light,
Let others know our unmatched might.

Get ready for the Night Of Fire,
Give in to the burning desire,
Everyday we encounter danger,
Now,
A good friend he is, no longer a stranger.

Show us the limit of what you can take,
The gauntlet thrown down, don't try to fake,
If you think the level is too high,
Then pull out from this Dogfight,
Where Anybody Can Die.

We will speed until the sunrise,
With the Beat Of The Rising Sun,
Finding this no more a surprise,
This danger is how we perceive true fun.

The Race Is Over, Time To Discover,
Life in a brand new day,
The Race Is Over, Now And Forever,
Time to live life Our Way!

Again, Inspired By Initial D OP,ED & OST. Credits Still Go To Their Original Artists, Composers etc.

And Thanks Y'all For All The Positive Feedback. Perhaps This Is A Sign That I'm Back On Track. So Now I Wonder, How Do I Take It A Step Further? Infinite Thanks To The One Who Relighted My Fire. Thanks To You, A Nether Phoenix I Am Forever. There Won't Be A Permanent Stop, While I Strive To Reach The Top.

Adieu To Y'all. It Feels So Good To Be Back.

P.S.: I've Wanted To Say This For A VERY VERY Long Time; Avatar Was A Good Movie. Just Good. Not ZOMGWTFBBQSAUCE ITS SO FUCKING GOOD IT MUST BE THE BEST FUCKING MOVIE OF THE FUCKING 21st CENTURY!!! Plain Exaggeration. And To Those Exaggerators, EAT THESE FINGERS! ..|.. ..|..

Immortal Trust

Corruption lurks in every corner,
Knowing no boundary nor border,
To stain hearts with uncertainty and doubt,
That leave us no chance to let them out.

Three years ago I succumbed to this taint,
Now freed, but the scars still constraint,
I never thought another would share this fate,
Worst of all,
The purest it chose to desecrate.

I say this to you before it's too late,
Before they go further, stop them at the gate,
I hope that you never see the day,
When you start seeing the world my way;
The pain is too great for any to bear,
And all others it will start to impair.

I dedicate this to you, my valued friend,
It may not be my place to comprehend,
But trust with all your heart, or not at all
In this pit of distrust you should not fall.

Though we live different lives,
To survive everyone strives,
This is merely what my life taught me,
So follow it not entirely,
For maybe fate will treat you differently.

This may sound ironic, coming from me,
I too understand if you disagree,
But I offer whatever help I can,
To root it out where it began,
For you need not go through this,
You deserve to be far away,
From this treacherous abyss.

Immortal Fire

My greatest fear I've seen come and go,
Crushed I was by the heavy blow,
But surprised I am that I'm still alive,
No logic nor magic could explain,
How did I survive.

Petrified I was but for a moment,
Saved I was by a force so ancient,
Erasing forever, my lust and desire,
Purged clean to a crisp by purest hellfire.

If this is fate's idea of toying with me,
It'll take more than that, I'll have you see,
I hope you have new tricks up your sleeve
Again and again, the same spot you cleave,
Always giving me false hope to believe,
Well this time I challenge you,
Who are you trying to deceive!?
The same pain shan't again make me grieve!
Even I do not stay forever naive,
You have scarred all the hope that I perceive,
My suffering you will no longer weave,
There is nothing more for you to achieve,
So I suggest in peace you leave,
Unless you wish tomorrow,
To be Armageddon's eve.

I'll embody the first Nether Phoenix,
Holy darkness and a cleansing helix,
Of our great image we will depict,
The symbol of eternal conflict.

I will no longer be a mindless thrall,
Never again will I wake up and fall,
I'd rather be hitting a brick wall,
Than to do nothing but squall.

Though this life will start anew,
Ashes of the past I keep them true,
For in the future they will keep me numb,
To similar fates I will not succumb.

Immortal Gratitude

After surviving my impending doom,
I have finally found some room,
To keep some light alongside darkness,
And this string of life can remain endless.

I thank the kind souls around me,
Their help was to an extreme degree,
A wider perspective I have gained,
The shadows of the fog explained.

Freedom to me they have granted,
The seeds of wisdom they have planted,
May I someday pass this flame,
To another whose needs spell the same name.

In time, all shall be alright,
I've found the hope within the twilight,
This deterioration will be healed,
With fidelity being its strongest shield.

What could be done has been done,
With the future hinting one last move,
From this challenge I shall not run,
Contrive I will and this I shall prove.

What I need is indeed time,
To scale this ultimate climb,
For the only tool I have is this rhyme.
And only there I'll hear the healing chime.

Peace and freedom, symbols you represent,
But I won't know what you truly intent,
Again, destiny weaves its tangled web,
Destroy them I will, and with newer ones,
These flaws shall surely ebb.

This magic has inspired many,
Now comes my turn, with a different gift,
The pride and joy it brought me was plenty,
Spread it I will, like the wings of a swift.

Though the fragile glass has shattered,
Its pieces have not yet scattered,
To put it whole I swear to you,
Mended nicely, as good as new.

Immortal Chaos

Cursed I am in this chaotic life,
In this chaotic era filled with strife,
My ultimate goal I can never achieve,
But a just reward I will still receive.

Within the darkness that is despair,
There still twinkles little spots of light,
But I wonder how can I fare,
In this already losing fight.

A war of attrition I am fighting,
With tension constantly rising,
But a journey of self-discovery,
Has helped me realize,
The true worth of my pure fidelity.

I shall see 2 years of sunrise,
While blasting the beat of the rising sun,
The beauty within will bring my demise,
As I watch all that I strive for undone.

Fate and destiny have always been cruel,
Only anger and rage they serve to fuel,
How can I trust a being off a book,
When my life away from me it took?

Watch is all I could ever do,
Away from me this white dove flew,
In the hands of my foe it chose to land,
Bringing me agony I could not withstand.

In what we do to claim the bird,
It's only our intention that differed,
If pure intentions are scorned upon,
Then from my heart, let pure evil spawn.

Perhaps in chaos and chance,
There lies Justice's truest lance,
Bias and prejudice nonexistent,
Fairness guaranteed and consistent.

With that, I choose to lose my mind,
Only with that can I stay sound and alive,
The perfect balance my quest to find,
Shall now begin and will contrive.

Immortal Fatality

The Net Has Returned, But I Have Not.

Yes, People. Ian May Possibly Have A Split Personality Soon, As He Has 2 Different, Observable Sets Of Behaviour. Maybe The Old One Will Fade Away In Time, Maybe The 2 Different Sets Will Merge Into One, Or Maybe They Will Split So Clearly Apart That I'll Be Diagnosed As A Mentally Ill Person.

For The Past 9 Days Watched The Night Sky Slowly Turn Bright From My Window. Fortunately It Was Not The Case Last Night. But Still, Time Seems To Pass Extremely Slowly At The Moment, When I Await The Coming Of Something Extremely Significant, Possibly Changing My Life Forever. The Turning Point That I Know Will Come, And When It Will Come. But The Wait For The Time When It Comes Is A Killer. Enough To Kill Me Before I Decay Away

But At The Same Time, The Level Of Uncertainty Is So High That Some Shit May Just Happen Before That Time That Will Screw Up My Entire Life Eternally. The Extreme Risk Isn't Thrilling, It's Heartbreaking; To Know That Time And Luck Is In Total Control Of Whether I Live Or Die, Whether I'll Be Able To Cling On To Life Or If I'll Really Resort To Becoming A Raging Lunatic Just To Keep Myself From Killing Myself.

And Initially I Thought Of Trying A New Approach To Blogging; To Write Everything In The Form Of Poetry, But With This Kind Of Crap Happening, I Don't Think It Will Go Smoothly. Maybe When This Is All Over, It Can Be Done.

I've Also Discovered Something Very, Very Recently, That I Should've Realized Long Ago:

I now know my true enemy,
Who wants me dead by a deadly degree,
It's now a showdown between you and me,
In the end, your blood is all you'll see!

With That, Adieu To Y'all. If I Survive Beyond My Point Of Salvation, Then Victory Is Mine.

Immortal Remorse

The Masterpiece Is Now Close To Completion. It Will Be Titled "Immortal Irony" In Conjunction With The Post It Is Inspired From. Unfortunately, However, My Kampar Home's Net Won't Be Back Until At Least Monday Thanks To Today Being A Public Holiday (His Royal Highness' Birthday) And Tomorrow Being A Sunday, So It Shall Not Appear Within These Few Days Even If I Were To Finish It Soon. Good News To Some, Eternally Bad For Me.

So Yeah. Thanks To Facebook I Also Found A Fellow Potential Poet. Keep Them Up Ah Yat. I'll Be Waiting To 'Plagiarize' Your Works Heheh. Just Kidding. But Seriously, Write More. It's Good To Know That I Have Fellow Creative Minds As Pals. Perhaps We Could Even Trade Inspirations. Not Sure How That Works Myself, But, Yeah.

All In All, The First Week Of Year 2 Was Hell On Earth. Severe Depression, Insomnia, And Then Some. And Sorry Mum. Can't Update You On What's Happening Recently Thanks To The Screwed Up Laptop Left At Home. Hope I Can Live Till Next Year, Then You Can Waste More Money On A New One Then You Can See What's Happening Here, Roughly At Least, If Not Clearly.

And Now I Understand First Hand How Depression Affects Appetite. A Plate Of Spaghetti And I Feel Bloated Already. Damn. Maybe It's A Good Thing; Helps Me Cut Down Weight. Heheh. And Life Span/Expectancy. Give And Take. Took Me So Long To Realize That This Is The Basis Of Life. Indeed For Every Action There Is An Equal And Opposite Reaction. And It's Not Limited To Actions. I Now Respect The One That Came Up With The Yin Yang Theory. So True That No Matter How I Wish To Defy It, It Would Never Work Out.

Well... My Time Here Is Limited, Because I Don't Usually Pay This Much Just To Surf The Net. So Yeah.

Until My Net Returns, Adieu To Y'all.

Immortal Injuries

Both Internal And External. Physical And Emotional. Perhaps Permanent Retirement Is Really The Better Choice In Such A Situation.

Today Is The Day. The Day I Will Be Free From One Of The Many Situations Of Nastiness That I've Brought Upon Myself. The Day That My Social Life Can Run Once Again After Being Halted For What, 2 Weeks?

I'm Not A Good Liar But I Still Wonder Why I Do It So Often. White Lies They May Be, But Sometimes I Ask Myself, Why Can't I Just Be A Little Honest With Myself And Just Accept The Facts. Yesterday's Self Introduction During Life Span Development Was Full Of Shit. Sorry People. No Way On Earth Am I Turning Into An Extroverted Person Anytime Soon. Probably Not Ever Even. What I Said Yesterday, Wishful Thinking At It's Peak. That's Probably A Wish That Will Only Be Granted In, What, Next Life? Life After Next? But Then, What For? The Me In Lives After This Isn't Me Anyway. Why Do I Wish For Myself Something Only To Be Granted To Another?

The Split Personality Part, However, Isn't Totally Untrue. Hell Yeah, The Desire To Talk Crap May Intensify So Badly That My Subconsciousness Might Just Create Another Wild Character That Will Occasionally Take Over This Physical Manifestation Of Myself And Run Amok And Start Insulting People Without Regard To Anything, Kill For The Slightest Dissatisfaction, Jump Off A Building For The Thrill Of It Or Anything Else That Has Occurred In My Head That I've Been Resisting To Do.

And I Also Wonder Is It Really That Hard For People To Be Honest With Me. I'm Constantly Fed This "Being So-And-So Isn't A Bad Thing, It Has It's Own Values," Bull-Fucking-Shit, Probably In The Name Of Caring For My Feelings, Which Makes Me Feel Extremely Miserable, For Myself Because I Need To Be Fed Such Crap, And For The Person Telling It, For Needing To Be So Obviously Dishonest. There, Mr Sivan, Your Theory Disputed; You Can't Be A 'Budak Baik' Telling Only Truths And Care For The Feelings Of Others At The Same Time. Yeah, White Lies They May Be As Well, But When It's SOOOO Obvious That It's A Lie, Does It Not Defeat The Purpose Of Telling It? PLEASE PEOPLE, JUST SPIT IN MY FACE, I CAN TAKE IT!!! DON'T STAB ME IN THE BACK, THAT I CANNOT TAKE!!!

Ah, How I Wish To Retire From Life Now. Now I'll Make A Wish For My Next Life; To Be Born In An Era Where Lies Do Not Exist, Where Truth And Trust Are Absolute. If That Era Will Never Come, Then I Hope That I Shall Never Be Reborn.

With That, Adieu To Y'all. 3 Hours And Counting Down.