Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Immortal Injuries

Both Internal And External. Physical And Emotional. Perhaps Permanent Retirement Is Really The Better Choice In Such A Situation.

Today Is The Day. The Day I Will Be Free From One Of The Many Situations Of Nastiness That I've Brought Upon Myself. The Day That My Social Life Can Run Once Again After Being Halted For What, 2 Weeks?

I'm Not A Good Liar But I Still Wonder Why I Do It So Often. White Lies They May Be, But Sometimes I Ask Myself, Why Can't I Just Be A Little Honest With Myself And Just Accept The Facts. Yesterday's Self Introduction During Life Span Development Was Full Of Shit. Sorry People. No Way On Earth Am I Turning Into An Extroverted Person Anytime Soon. Probably Not Ever Even. What I Said Yesterday, Wishful Thinking At It's Peak. That's Probably A Wish That Will Only Be Granted In, What, Next Life? Life After Next? But Then, What For? The Me In Lives After This Isn't Me Anyway. Why Do I Wish For Myself Something Only To Be Granted To Another?

The Split Personality Part, However, Isn't Totally Untrue. Hell Yeah, The Desire To Talk Crap May Intensify So Badly That My Subconsciousness Might Just Create Another Wild Character That Will Occasionally Take Over This Physical Manifestation Of Myself And Run Amok And Start Insulting People Without Regard To Anything, Kill For The Slightest Dissatisfaction, Jump Off A Building For The Thrill Of It Or Anything Else That Has Occurred In My Head That I've Been Resisting To Do.

And I Also Wonder Is It Really That Hard For People To Be Honest With Me. I'm Constantly Fed This "Being So-And-So Isn't A Bad Thing, It Has It's Own Values," Bull-Fucking-Shit, Probably In The Name Of Caring For My Feelings, Which Makes Me Feel Extremely Miserable, For Myself Because I Need To Be Fed Such Crap, And For The Person Telling It, For Needing To Be So Obviously Dishonest. There, Mr Sivan, Your Theory Disputed; You Can't Be A 'Budak Baik' Telling Only Truths And Care For The Feelings Of Others At The Same Time. Yeah, White Lies They May Be As Well, But When It's SOOOO Obvious That It's A Lie, Does It Not Defeat The Purpose Of Telling It? PLEASE PEOPLE, JUST SPIT IN MY FACE, I CAN TAKE IT!!! DON'T STAB ME IN THE BACK, THAT I CANNOT TAKE!!!

Ah, How I Wish To Retire From Life Now. Now I'll Make A Wish For My Next Life; To Be Born In An Era Where Lies Do Not Exist, Where Truth And Trust Are Absolute. If That Era Will Never Come, Then I Hope That I Shall Never Be Reborn.

With That, Adieu To Y'all. 3 Hours And Counting Down.

No comments: