Cold, Soggy Fries For Breakfast Ain't Cool

Been Doing That For More That 1/2 The Week Now, And No Matter How Many Times I Do It, I Just Can't Get Myself To Like It. But Whatever. Fortunately Burgers Don't 'Turn Soggy' The Way Fries Does. Thanks Mum For Getting Me McD For Dinner So Often. XD

And This Week Is TORTURE!!!

This Is The Time In My Life Where I Wished The Holidays Were Either More Packed With Plans And Outings With Friends Or Were No Holidays At All. The Kind Of Time Where I'd Wish I'd Go To School And Attend Classes And Hope There Are No Exams. Because, The Classes Give Me Something To Do, But Comes With Exams Which I Really Would Prefer Not To Have. Give And Take I Suppose. And I Think I'm Beginning To Get Used To Mundane, Monotonous Routine That Repeats Itself So Perfectly That Everyday Feels Like The Same Day. Maybe It's A Sign That I'm Of Age To Work Without Throwing Tantrums About How Repetitive Life Can Be.

But Doesn't Change The Fact That I Don't Wanna Work. Not The Conventional Way At Least. No Way In Existence Will You See Ian Chee Working His Arse Off For Some Monthly Minimum Wage. No Siree. If You Ever See That Happening, Well, Don't Approach Him, 'Cause That Definitely Ain't Ian 'IMD!!!' Chee. Might Be Some Other Dentist Or Consultant From Somewhere But It's Not Me For Certain.

Kind Of Wish I Was Dead. But Then Again I Don't Think I Wanna Die Just Yet Because I'm Falling Down With A Velocity So High That Once I Hit The Trampoline, It'll Send Me To Space. And The Friction With The Atmosphere Will Fry Me To A Crisp. So Yeah, Since I'm Gonna Die Anyway, Might As Well Enjoy The View First. Then I Could Brag About Seeing Damn Corrupted Earth From Heaven's Point Of View Before I Enter It. Literally. Hey, At Least This Isn't Suicide.

Maybe If I Really Die Before I Get Old (Which I REALLY Hope I Do), I Should Donate By Brain To Some Research Center For Studies. Because I'm Very Sure That I'm The Only One In The Whole Wide World Who Feels Homesick AFTER Returning Home. At Kampar I'd Be Like, "Okay, So What If I'm Not At Home? Still Got A Price Tag To Get." But Upon Returning, "Dammit, Why Must I Be At Kampar For 3 LONG Years Just To Graduate With A Price Tag That Only Put's A Label Of How Much I'm Worth To The Economic Society?"

After Some Reflection Last Night, I Realize That, Deep Down Inside, People Want To Be Understood, No Matter How Different People Are Or Can Be. In Other Words, People Don't Want To Be Different With All Their Heart, Because When You're Different, Only People As Different As You Would Understand You. And When You Are THAT Different, The Odds Of Finding Such People Are, Well, Yay Close To Nil, Which Means You'd Probably Be Destined To Be Alone. Yeah, Sure, People Can TRY To Be Empathic But The Best They Can Do Is To Put Themselves In Your Shoes, But They Cannot See The World From Your Eyes. They Can Experience Your Experiences, But They Can Never Interpret The Messages The Way You Do. They May Know Your Life, But Can Never Understand It.

The Same Applies To Me. Yes, I Admit, I Want To be Different, But More Than That, I Want To Be Understood, And When I Think Of It, To A Certain Extent I'd Rather Be Someone Without A Unique Identity, If That Is What It Takes To Be Understood. Because, When No One Can Comprehend My Words, Or See The World The Way I Do, I Feel Despair. I Feel Lonely. I So Badly Want To Share My Thoughts With Someone, With Anyone. To Not Have To Bear The Weight Alone. But When I Realize That The Best Anyone Else Besides Me Can Do It To Know, But Not To Understand, I Also Realize How Hollow Hope Is, And How Real Despair Can Be.

Unless Of Course You Put Ego Into The Equation, Which, I've Got Nothing To Say Regarding That. The Ego Of Humans Are What Made This World The Way It Is Anyway: Divided And Bloodied.

And With That, I Regretfully Apologize To My Mum And Goddad For Forcing Every Detail Of My Life Into Them, Expecting Them To Understand The Way I Feel For The Past Close-To 2 Decades. And To Late Godma. As If You Didn't Already Have Enough Problems Of Your Own To Worry About. And To The Others Who Tried To Understand, Infinite Thanks, I'll Be Forever In Your Debt. But I Must Again Apologize, For Though I Know The Attempts Are Futile, I'm Too Selfish To Ask You To Stop.

Maybe I Don't Like Being Depressed After All. A Whole Week Of Morbid Dreams Of Loneliness, Conflict, Bloodshed And Dying Is A Little Too Much For Me To Bear In Exchange For The Few Moments Of High-Flying Emotions.

Adieu To Y'all. I Too Hope This Morbidity Ends Soon.