(Im)Mortal Irony

Downloading Ayashi No Ceres To Rewatch The Show After Suddenly Recalling A Very Ironic Line From The Anime Which Roughly Goes Like This:

Aya: "All Humans Need Warmth From Other People..."
Yuhi: "... Then Warm Me Up!"

Really Ironic, That Line Coming From Aya And Directed To Yuhi. Those Who Have Watched The Anime Before Will Understand What I'm Talking About.

And I Think I Will Have A Masterpiece Circling Around This Theme Of Emotional Irony Coming Up Soon. Look Forward To It. XD

With That, Adieu To Y'all.

First Doom On The First Day Of The First Term Of The New Year

First Day. Well, Nothing Special. Nothing Special As In There Isn't The Big Hoohaa About Coming Back To Uni Life. But What Is Going On However, Is The Atmosphere. Something Eerily Creepy About It. Worst Of All Is The Fact That I Still Have My UTAR Demo To Worry About And Stuff Like This Comes Bugging Me. Go Away And Don't Ever Come Back Please.

And Awkwardness Confirmed. It's Like I'm Being Chased Away For Something I Done. And As Before, No One's Gonna Tell Me What That Is. Yes, I'm A Slow Retard That Isn't Really All That Mature If You're Gonna Measure My Social Age So PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAVE I DONE BEFORE I DO IT AGAIN!!!

That Aside, My Confidence Is Really Going Down The Hill. The One-Inch-Punch All Of A Sudden Feels So Much Harder To Perform. I Don't Know If It's Because Of The Pressure/Responsibility Or The Fatigue After A Long Day, But What I Could Do Easily I Could Not Do Properly Now. Might Really Need Professional Help In Managing Life After All. Mr Sivan Here I Come LOL.

And I Just Realized How For The Whole Of The Past Month I So Look Forward To Seeing Myself In The Obituaries. Ironic, Huh? How Can I See Myself In The Obituaries If I'm IN The Obituaries!? Rotten Food For Thought.

And With That, Adieu To Y'all. Another 12 Agonizing Hours Of Work Awaits Tomorrow.

Insane Over In Sane

I Just Realized How Much I Need Insanity. It Is What's Keeping Me From Taking My Own Life. In Other Words, Insanity Is What's Keeping Me Sane.

Just Returned From Malacca And Noticed How Much Of A Racist State It Is (Or Once Was). And Of All The Outings With The 19 Gang, This Is Probably The Most 'Priceless' One, Where Most Stuff Happened, From Fatally Serious To Deadly Hilarious.

Well... This Post Is Taking Bloody Long To Complete, Due To The Fact That Upon Returning To KL I Only Have A Day To Rest, And The Next Day I'd Be Traveling Back To Kampar And From That Point On, 6 HOURS OF TRAINING PER DAY, EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN' DAY!!!

That Aside,

I'm NO LONGER FREAKIN PROBED EITHER!!!

And After All That Studying All I'm Getting Are Straight Bitches.

Not That I Actually Matters. Because, Well, It Sucks So Much To Be Me That If I Was To Actually Have My Academic Term Terminated, You'd See Me Running Amok In Some Crowded Place With A Dynamite Vest And Several Other Firearms, Bust Some Heads Like Watermelons Before Blowing Myself Up And Appearing In The Headlines Of Newspapers Worldwide As The First Extremist Non-Believer.

And Add All That To 6 Hours Of Sun, Sunburn, Hot Ground, Bubbling Blisters, Unlearning 10 Years Of Habitual Movements And A Bloody Migraine DAILY For A Week, And You'll Know What It Feels Like To Live A Life Like That Of Ian 'IMD!!!' Chee. As I Said Many Times Before, It Sucks To Be Me.

Oh Well, Adieu To Y'all. I'd like to Believe That This Short Breather Was Very Well Utilized.

Bound And Gagged By The Train Tracks

Well, Well, Well. Remarkably For The Past 2 Days i Slept At 4 a.m. And Woke Up At Noon. Congratulations To Myself For I've Finally Broken My Once Fully Functional Biological Clock. Not That It's A Bad Thing.

Mum Came To Me And Said "Come On, Ian, You Come Back Once In So Long, How About Having Dinner With The Family Instead Of Always Venturing Out On Your Own Or Eating Scraps At Home?" Stunned Me For Quite A Bit, But I Said In Response, "But What For? We Eat Together But It's Always A Silent, Awkward Atmosphere. We Don't Joke, Don't Discuss Life, Heck, We Don't Even Talk, To Say The Least. Spending Time Looking At Food Then Looking At Each Other, Might As Well Not Do It. Seems So Pointless..."

"Well, Your Parents Are Old Already, Don't Know When We're Going Off. So Just Let Us Enjoy A Meal With Our Son. Even If We Don't Have Much To Talk About To Each Other, It's The Company That Counts."

"... If You Put It That Way..."

Sounded So Morbid If I Didn't Hear Tone Of Her Voice I Might've Taken It As An Ultimatum. But That Led To My Family Having A REALLY Late Lunch At Victoria Station. Must've Been A Decade And A Half Since I Last Ate There.

Overall It Was Okay. The Food Was Not As Good As How I Remembered It To Be, But Still Beats Anything Else, Anywhere Else (As In Anywhere I've Eaten Before, Which Isn't That Many Places, Actually).

Well... Eating With The Family Has Never Felt More Awkward. Father Was Smiling Most Of The Time, Barely Complaining (You'd Know Something's VERY Wrong Somewhere If He Doesn't Complain), Barely Even Talking, Because He's Usually The One That Talks The Most Even If He Doesn't Complain. Mum Was Quiet Too, Which Leaves Me Looking At The 2 of Them, Wondering What To Make Of This Situation. I Tried to Say Something, But The Result Of It Told Me That I Should've Just Kept My Mouth Shut. Because Nothing Sucks More Than Making The Situation Worse When You Intended To Remedy It.

Hell. Living Life Seems As Awkward As A Stand Up Comedian With A Very Bad Stutter. Or Going On A Date When You're Not A Talker. Not That I've Ever Went On A Date, But I Assume That To Be The Case.

And It Seems I'll Be Free On The 18th After All. So If Any Of Y'all Have Anything Planned, Just Let Me Know.

Adieu To Y'all. Life Just Got From Bad To Worse By Going From Depressing To Awkward AND Depressing.

Cold, Soggy Fries For Breakfast Ain't Cool

Been Doing That For More That 1/2 The Week Now, And No Matter How Many Times I Do It, I Just Can't Get Myself To Like It. But Whatever. Fortunately Burgers Don't 'Turn Soggy' The Way Fries Does. Thanks Mum For Getting Me McD For Dinner So Often. XD

And This Week Is TORTURE!!!

This Is The Time In My Life Where I Wished The Holidays Were Either More Packed With Plans And Outings With Friends Or Were No Holidays At All. The Kind Of Time Where I'd Wish I'd Go To School And Attend Classes And Hope There Are No Exams. Because, The Classes Give Me Something To Do, But Comes With Exams Which I Really Would Prefer Not To Have. Give And Take I Suppose. And I Think I'm Beginning To Get Used To Mundane, Monotonous Routine That Repeats Itself So Perfectly That Everyday Feels Like The Same Day. Maybe It's A Sign That I'm Of Age To Work Without Throwing Tantrums About How Repetitive Life Can Be.

But Doesn't Change The Fact That I Don't Wanna Work. Not The Conventional Way At Least. No Way In Existence Will You See Ian Chee Working His Arse Off For Some Monthly Minimum Wage. No Siree. If You Ever See That Happening, Well, Don't Approach Him, 'Cause That Definitely Ain't Ian 'IMD!!!' Chee. Might Be Some Other Dentist Or Consultant From Somewhere But It's Not Me For Certain.

Kind Of Wish I Was Dead. But Then Again I Don't Think I Wanna Die Just Yet Because I'm Falling Down With A Velocity So High That Once I Hit The Trampoline, It'll Send Me To Space. And The Friction With The Atmosphere Will Fry Me To A Crisp. So Yeah, Since I'm Gonna Die Anyway, Might As Well Enjoy The View First. Then I Could Brag About Seeing Damn Corrupted Earth From Heaven's Point Of View Before I Enter It. Literally. Hey, At Least This Isn't Suicide.

Maybe If I Really Die Before I Get Old (Which I REALLY Hope I Do), I Should Donate By Brain To Some Research Center For Studies. Because I'm Very Sure That I'm The Only One In The Whole Wide World Who Feels Homesick AFTER Returning Home. At Kampar I'd Be Like, "Okay, So What If I'm Not At Home? Still Got A Price Tag To Get." But Upon Returning, "Dammit, Why Must I Be At Kampar For 3 LONG Years Just To Graduate With A Price Tag That Only Put's A Label Of How Much I'm Worth To The Economic Society?"

After Some Reflection Last Night, I Realize That, Deep Down Inside, People Want To Be Understood, No Matter How Different People Are Or Can Be. In Other Words, People Don't Want To Be Different With All Their Heart, Because When You're Different, Only People As Different As You Would Understand You. And When You Are THAT Different, The Odds Of Finding Such People Are, Well, Yay Close To Nil, Which Means You'd Probably Be Destined To Be Alone. Yeah, Sure, People Can TRY To Be Empathic But The Best They Can Do Is To Put Themselves In Your Shoes, But They Cannot See The World From Your Eyes. They Can Experience Your Experiences, But They Can Never Interpret The Messages The Way You Do. They May Know Your Life, But Can Never Understand It.

The Same Applies To Me. Yes, I Admit, I Want To be Different, But More Than That, I Want To Be Understood, And When I Think Of It, To A Certain Extent I'd Rather Be Someone Without A Unique Identity, If That Is What It Takes To Be Understood. Because, When No One Can Comprehend My Words, Or See The World The Way I Do, I Feel Despair. I Feel Lonely. I So Badly Want To Share My Thoughts With Someone, With Anyone. To Not Have To Bear The Weight Alone. But When I Realize That The Best Anyone Else Besides Me Can Do It To Know, But Not To Understand, I Also Realize How Hollow Hope Is, And How Real Despair Can Be.

Unless Of Course You Put Ego Into The Equation, Which, I've Got Nothing To Say Regarding That. The Ego Of Humans Are What Made This World The Way It Is Anyway: Divided And Bloodied.

And With That, I Regretfully Apologize To My Mum And Goddad For Forcing Every Detail Of My Life Into Them, Expecting Them To Understand The Way I Feel For The Past Close-To 2 Decades. And To Late Godma. As If You Didn't Already Have Enough Problems Of Your Own To Worry About. And To The Others Who Tried To Understand, Infinite Thanks, I'll Be Forever In Your Debt. But I Must Again Apologize, For Though I Know The Attempts Are Futile, I'm Too Selfish To Ask You To Stop.

Maybe I Don't Like Being Depressed After All. A Whole Week Of Morbid Dreams Of Loneliness, Conflict, Bloodshed And Dying Is A Little Too Much For Me To Bear In Exchange For The Few Moments Of High-Flying Emotions.

Adieu To Y'all. I Too Hope This Morbidity Ends Soon.

Loving Hatred

This Is Gonna Sound Very Weird And Very Wrong: I Think I'm Enjoying Depression

Why? Because It Makes Me Feel That My Life Is Like A Trampoline; The Harder You Land, The Higher You Fly. And Now I'm Up So High It's Definitely WAAAAYYY~~~ Higher That The Usual Happy Day. The Only Problem With It Is That If The Trampoline Breaks, Then My Body Will Break Too -.-'

And My New Found Drug Has Turned Too Addictive And Expensive To Be Used Often. 375g Of Haagen Dazs Cookies & Cream Costs RM30.99 And 500g Of Manuka Honey Costs Close To RM100. So If I Keep It Up (And Buy Them On My Own Later) I'll Be Broke Real Fast.

And I went Through Yesterday's Paper Because I Saw Something That Wasn't Quite Right. It Seems That There Will Be 'Ip Man 3' Because There's This One Article That Said 'The 3rd Installment Of The Movie' Or Something Like That. Not Sure If It Was A Print Error Or The Reporter Got Stuff Mixed Up, But... Well Whatever.

So Yeah. Adieu To Y'all.

Americans, What Are You Up To...?

Was Going Through My Hard Disk Recently And This Suddenly Got To Me: Americans Are Damn Good At Making Their Marvel Superheroes Seem More Realistic When They Hit The Big Screen. A Webless Spider From The Comics To A Natural Webspinner In The Live Action, The Multitude Of Specialized, Crapped Up Designs Into A Single, Close To All Purpose Suit And So On.

But While They Boost Their American Superheroes, They Dump The Japanese Ones Into The Sewage System. Look At The Disasterous Excuse Of The Hollywood Dragon Ball And Street Fighter. Really Makes You Wonder If They're Intentionally Screwing The Image Of The East And Starting A Cold War Of The Entertainment Industry.

Forget Hollywood. Even When Japanese Anime Are Imported, They Had To Spoil The Image In The Name Of Americanizing Them. The Digimon And Gundam Series Are Probably The Most Prominent. The Potentially Motivational Lyrics Of The Japanese Digimon Themes Are Replaced With Screwed Up Cheery Songs That Pretty Much Put The Label "No Adults Allowed" On Digimon, While Every Generation Of Gundam Had A Unique Theme To The Music, They Had To Scrap It All, Use The Same Theme Ever Since The First RX-78 Gundam And Worst Of All (This Applies To Every Dubbed Anime), They Get Voice Actors That Are Unable To Relive The Emotion Felt By The In-Story Character. Spoils The Mood, If Anything. The Worst Case Was Probably The Dragon Ball Series' Anime. Even Malaysian Voice Actors Had More Emotion Than The American Dub.

Can't They Just Go Along With Subs? It's Indirectly Encouraging Multilingualism; You Learn A New Language. Unless They, For Reasons Impossible For The General Public To Comprehend, See's The Growth Of Japanese Language As Threat To National Security Or Some Other Cow Dung They'd Come Up With.

And Why Am I Saying This? Because Some Anime Available For Download Do Not Have The Original Japanese Voices And When I Compare To The Pirated DVDs With Chinese Subs That I Can't Fucking Understand, It Made Me Wanna Watch The American Dub On Mute. 'Nuff said.

The 19 Gang Are Finishing Their Exams Today At 4. Wonder If They Have Any Other Plans Besides Watching The Thomas Cup Tonight...

Adieu To Y'all. Enjoy Anime During The Holidays. XD

Witness The Moment YOUR FAILURES PROSPER!!!

Man I Miss DMC3SE. Totally Crushed My Unrealistic Dream That Game Pirates Were Doing The People Good By Telling The Government That Their Tax Is WAAAAY Off Practicality. Well, Maybe They Are Unwittingly, But After DMC3SE It's Clear That It Was Never Their Intention.

All Of A Sudden I Remember What Ms Geraldine Told Us About People Who Are Different. Not All Of Them Are Really Different, But They Just Want That Extra Attention. It's Kinda Like The Reality Behind The 'Great Minds Think Alike' Bullshit. Still Remember The Example She Gave; Some Kid Hated Harry Potter Just Purely Because Almost Everyone Else Liked It. And When He Found Someone As Attention Seeking As He Is He Just Goes "Oh, You Too?" And Then The 2 Idiotas Jump For Joy And With Perfect Unison, Chant Out The Phrase I Just Quoted Above. Okay The Last Part I Made It Up. But The Fact Remains That Some People Want To Be Different When They Are Not. And These Kinds Of People, Deep Down Inside, Don't Want To Be THAT Different After All.

What About Me? Well, I've Yet To Encounter Someone Who Sees The World The Way I Do, So I Don't Really Know If I'd End Up Doing The U2 Dance So Yeah, It Remains To Be Seen.

Right. Why The Dark Title? It's Part Of The Lyrics Of Devil May Cry 3's 1st Battle Theme. Which Reminds Me Of One Question I Don't Think Will Ever Be Answered. Not Without Frustrating Me With The Lack Of Logic Behind The Reason, At Least.

And The Question Is: WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE PAY TO GO TO A CRAPPY DARK, AIR-CONDITIONED ROOM TO SHARE SALIVA STAINED MICS WITH THEIR FRIENDS AS THEY YELL THEIR LUNGS OUT WITH THEIR OUT-OF-KEY VOICES!?

The Only Explanation I Can Think Of Is That They Do That Solely For The Sake Of Being There During The Priceless Moment Where The Friend(s) Make A Fool Of Themselves. And I Honestly Respect These People. To An Extent. Because They Can Bring Themselves To Do Something I Could Never Do, And That Is To See Only On The Bright Side And Totally Disregard The Other, In This Case, To Only Know That Their Friends Made A Fun Of Themselves And That Gives You The Chance To Laugh Till Your Jaws Remain Permanently Open, While Ignoring The Fact That Their Mouths Can't Close Either When You Go A Few Octaves Too High When You Hit Them High Notes.

I Would Personally Do It At Home. If You So Love To Sing, You Only Need To Shut The Windows And Doors Tight And You Can Be The One Singing For However Long You Want, Don't Have To Take Turns, No One's Gonna Laugh At You, And Best Of All, YOU DON'T PAY A SINGLE CENT!

I Don't Really Know About Them, But As Far As I Know, People Are Laughing AT You, And Not WITH You, When You're Being Stupid.

Maybe That's What Got Me So Depressed For Almost 2 Full Decades. Goodness, The Burden Of Knowledge. Maybe Ignorance Really IS Bliss, After All.

So Today's The Last Day Of Exams For My Fellow Friends Taking Cultural. Which I Quite Like Personally, Given That It's Quite The Way To Oppose The Federal Constitution's Thing About Not Letting People Preach Religion In Public Save Islam. And Though I Say Opposing, It's Still Very Much Within Whatever's Set Because, Well, It's Not Exactly Public After All.

That Aside, Happy Holidays To Said Friends Of Mine. Maybe You'd Even See Me In The Newspapers For Being A Total Loony Before The Next Sem Begins. Because I Know I Plan To Do Some Crazy Stuff. Happens Every Time I Get Depressed. Because The Motto Of The Period Is (To) 'Live Life Dangerously, Because That's What It Means To Be Alive'.

That Said, I'm Taking The First Meal Of The Day At 7p.m. And It's Pure Coincidence That I Woke Up 12 Hours Before That. And Speaking Of 12, I Fell Asleep At 12 Midnight. Something I Thought Won't Actually Be Possible For Quite A While.

So Before I Go, Here's A Line From GTA San Andreas That Changed My Life Forever. Well, Sort Of.

"You're All The Same. Fuck This, Fuck That. Well, Fuck You!"

Adieu To Y'all. Once Again, With The Purest Of Sincerity From This Dark Heart, Happy Holidays.

Ian Must Die AGAIN!!! FOR HE NOW CRAVES MORE BLOOD!!!

HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!~~~

Phew. Damn Was Today A Really Good Day. I Now Find It Undeniable That It Is Indeed In Solitude That We Are Least Alone. A Solo Hero Going Lone Ranger On A Quest Of Self Rediscovery. Sounds Like Some Adventure Themed Light Novel, Doesn't It? But Hell No, What Happened Today Isn't Really Enough For Anything Publishable For That Matter. Why? Because It's So~~~ Abstract No Metaphor Can Describe It. Comparing The Me Today To A Phoenix Rising From The Ashes Is An Understatement.

Perhaps I Was Meant To Live A Life Of Solitude After All... Hmm... Should Go Isolate Myself in Taman Negara After Graduating, See If I Can't Beat The Record Of That Indian Guy Who Supposedly Meditated For 70 Years Straight Without Food.

So What The 4Stars Did I Do Today? Well... The Day Started Off Pretty Bad. Don't Exactly Remember What Time I Slept But I'm Sure It's Past 2am. Probably Close To 3 Even. Maybe It Was Past 3. Whatever The Time I Slept, The Spring Of My Biological Alarm Clock Had To Trip At 5.30. So Yeah. Despair. So From My Bed I Looked Out The Window And Watched As The Day Slowly Got Brighter. Then From The Horizon That Is The Roof Of The House Opposite Mine I See The Sun Rising. Priceless View. Would've Been Better If Those Houses Were Mountains.

So I Had My Breakfast Of An Apple And Some Durians That Were Left In The Fridge. At About 10. Before That I Think At Some Point I Got Tired Of Looking At The Yet-To-Glare Sun I Made My Room As Soundproof As Possible, Blasted My Speakers At Max Volume And Yelled My Lungs Out For 2 Straight Hours. Or More. I Forgot. Never Realized That Was Such An Effective Release. Add Some Cracks On My Wall (And Some Bruises On My Knuckles And Feet) And Damn That Felt So Good I Could Get Addicted To It.

And For My Morning Dessert (I Know, I Can Be REALLY Sick At Times. Most Of The Time, In Fact) I Discovered The Ultimate Blessing That Is Cookies & Cream + Cold, Solid Manuka Honey Hybrid. Almost Got Drunk The Moment The First Spoonful Touched My Tongue. An Indescribable Taste.

Then An Early Lunch With Goddad. And I'll Remember Not To Take Meat Whenever I Go To That Bloody Place To Eat. Bloody Piece Of Fish Costed A Whooping 5 Bucks. And Thats A SINGLE PIECE! The Price Of A Light Lunch With Only 2 Dishes Was That Of A Heavy, 5 Dished Meal. Shocker Of The Day, That Was.

Went All The Way To Wangsa Maju To Catch 2 Movies With The Number 2 In Them: Ip Man 2 And Ironman 2. The 20 Minute Walk From The LRT Station To Wangsa Walk Was Like A Self Discovery Journey, Like I Realized A Lost Part Of Myself. Sounds Dramatic, Yeah, But If You Were Me, You'd Understand How That Was Really Such A Dramatic Experience.

Something Caught My Eye Though When I Reached The Cinema: Russell Crowe As Robin Hood. And I Was Like... "なんだと？イメージがちがうだよ"　(What? That's Like A Wrong Image...)

But Whatever. Ip Man 2 And Iron Man 2 Were Really Worth Going Through The Trouble To Watch. Overall I'd Say Ip Man Had A Better Story. Iron Man's Story For The 1st 1/2 Kinda Sucked, Actually. But I Think The Action Near The End Makes Up For It. Awesome Stuff. But They Nerfed/Detuned War-Machine To Keep Iron Man In The Spotlight.

The Time Spent Before And Between Movies? Popular Bookstore lol. Kinda Glad I Took Up That Issue Of Top Gear And Flipped Through It. At Least Now I Know That Getting A Peugeot Is As Bad An Idea As To Buy Malaysian Or Korean Cars. Or So Says Jeremy Clarkson At Least. And That The Great Porsche Carrera GT Now Has A Successor. AND That Porsche, Bugatti And Lamborghini Are All Under Volkswagen.

And Yeah. I Saw Nothing Interesting To Eat At Wangsa Walk So I Decided To Just Starve Myself Until I Got Back Home For Dinner Coz Mum Got Me McD. Heheh.

And One Thing About This Whole Depression And Self Discovery Nonsense Is That I Lost 1kg Per Episode. Each. So If I Was Ironic Enough I'd Wish For Another Exam Soon So That There'd Be This Risk Of Being Depressed Again And Then I Could Go For Another Self-Rediscovery Journey To Lose A Total Of Another 2 Kilos. Repeat The Cycle 5 Times And I'd Achieve My Ideal Weight. IF And Only IF I Was That Ironic. But I'm Not, So Yeah, I Guess I Can Be Grateful With 2kgs Off The Body.

Damn Was I Tired On The Way Back Home But Now... Gah. This Clock Inside This Head Really Needs To Be Retuned.

Adieu To Y'all. Dear Neighbours Please Don't Call The Police If I Was Bothering You. Because, Like They Say In Japan, 受験生だから、しかたない。(Since He/She's An Examinee, It Can't Be Helped) Quoted From Zoku Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.

P.S.: Infinite Thanks To Si Panjang a.k.a. Shangee For Guiding Me From Wangsa Maju LRT To Wangsa Walk.

It's Not My Fault?

This May Be A Little Too Late To Make Any Mention Of This, But I Think I'll Just Say It Anyway, Coz I'd Personally Think It's Better Than Never.

So Yeah. First Off. To All Aspiring Parents. NEVER ROB YOUR CHILD OF THEIR FREE WILL! Who Am I To Say This Huh? Well, Let's Just Say That I Was A Child Who Was Robbed Of My Free Will And Am Now Suffering For It. What Was Robbed And What Did I Lose In Return? There's A Whole Load Of Equations That I'd Come Up With. And Believe Me They Are True.

Imprisoning Your Child At Home a.k.a. Not Taking Them Out Often Enough Or Letting Them Try New Things
=
Limits His Experience, Interests And Points Of View. Literally A Toad In A Well.

Not Allowing Them The Chance To Go To Friends' Places To Play (When They're Young) Or To Just Talk Crap (As Teenagers)
=
Limits Their Interpersonal Skills a.k.a You'd Give Them A Talking Complex.

Secondly, Never Give Them A Nice Screwing When They Come To You To Talk About Personal Stuff. Especially If They're The Only Living Child. And If The Child Had An Elder Sibling That Passed Away Before The Birth Of The Current One, DON'T IMPOSE VALUES! ESPECIALLY THOSE THAT THE PREVIOUS CHILD HAD OR THAT YOU EXPECTED YOUR PREVIOUS CHILD TO HAVE!

Thirdly, Keep Promises You Made. The Worst Possible Thing That Can Happen To A Child Is To Lose Trust In The Parents.Here's A Scenario Based On A True Story To Illustrate Numbers 2 And 3:

Suppose Your Child Isn't Exceptionally Talented Academically. He Happens To Want, Say, A LEGO Set That's Relatively Expensive (Let's Give It A Relative Figure Of Roughly RM200), And In Response The Father Says "Why Should I Buy It For You? You're Not Doing As Well As You're Supposed To Do In Your Studies. So How Do You Deserve That?" The Child Begs The Father And Promises He'd Do Better In The Coming Exam If He Gets It. The Father Relents, Telling The Child "If You Can Get Make It To The Top 5, I'll Buy It For You." So The Child Works Hard In His Studies And Gets First Place Not Only In Class, But The Whole Grade, Which Is Way Beyond The Initial Expectation. In Anticipation The Child Pesters The Father Again Over The Made Promise And As A Result, The Father Buys A LEGO Set Worth RM20 And Tells The Child "Economy Not Doing Well."

First Of All, The Only Thing A Child Is Going To Know About Economy Is The Size Of His Reward, Comparing Between What Was Promised To Him And What He Actually Got. Second, He's Not ever Gonna Believe Whatever His Father Says Anymore. Third, In Losing Trust, He's Not Gonna talk With Him Whenever He Doesn't Need To, Which Will Make Things Worse.

So In Conclusion, You'd Only Wanna Exercise Extreme Control Up Until They Finish Primary School. Drag It On To Secondary And, Well... The Child Will End Up A Dysfunctional Brat Like Me Who Might Seem Promising Behind The Monitor Screen But When You Meet The Person IN Person, You Get Disappointed, So He Ends Up Not Making That Many Friends Because Of His Warped Personality And Terrible Social Skills And That The Few Friends That He Actually Makes Might End Up Hurting Him Badly Because They Can't Take The Fact That They've Been Calling Such A Degenerate A Friend And So They Decide To End It. Not Forgetting The Fact That Since They've Rarely Been Given The Chance To Interact With Others They Don't Often Find People That Make A Great Impact In Their Life And When They Decide There Are Such People, They Accidentally Scared The Crap Out Of Whoever Their Gratitude Was Intended Towards Because It's So Rare That They Do Stuff Like That, When They Suddenly Do Others Think That They Have Other Sinister Ulterior Motives Or Something. So Yeah.

Now's The The Time, More Than Ever, I'd Wish Someone Would Give Me 1o "It's Not Your Fault"s And Actually Make My Tears Flow. It's So Painful To Not Be Able To Cry When You're Feeling So Badly Depressed.

So Yeah, Adieu To Y'all. Parents, Remember Not To Screw Up Your Child's Life. You Can't Imagine The Suffering You'll Be Putting Them Through.

Ian Has Died. Again.

Exams Are Over And I'm Now Home.

But Severe Depression Is Taking Over Me When I Should Be Overjoyed.

Upon Reflection I Realized I Have Been A Fool,
I Was Nothing But A Tool,
Of Someone I Trusted.
I Was Made To Test The Waters In The Person's Place And While The Crocs Are Onto Me The Person Rushes Forward To Claim The Prize.
Without Any Regard To What Will Happen To Me.

And To Think That I Was Made To Believe That The Prize Was Mine To Claim... I Doubt I Can Ever Forgive Myself For Being Such A Fool.

Worse Still, I Tested The Waters So Long Ago And Only After I've Been Fully Digested By The Crocs Has The Person Went For It. And Only After It's Too Late That I Realized What Was Going On.

No Way Is This Gonna Be Just Water Under The Bridge. My Despair Has Never Been Greater.

And The Sucky Thing About Taking Psychology Is That You Know The Causes Of Depression You Think You Can Avoid It But End Up Being Depressed Anyway. So That's Double The Depression For Me. Oh Yeah, It REALLY DOES Suck To Be Me.

Adieu To Y'all. 19 And TB1 I Need A Dose Of Y'all!!!

The Last Battle Of The War

Yeah. The Last Paper Is 14 Hours Away.

Just Wanted To Say That There's Finally A Guy Who's Actually Pronouncing English Properly In Response To The So-Called 'Ms Ruby' Or Whatever. But That's Not Exactly The Point. What The Point IS, However, Is The Fact That This Guy Can Speak. And I've Been Waiting For Someone Like Him To Do A Proper Response. Not Like Some Wannabes.

Oh Well... One Thing I'd Like To Try During This Coming Short Break Is Maybe To Be A Little Chattier.

Until Then, Adieu To Y'all.

Spiced Up Death

In Case Y'all Haven't Noticed, Exams Turn Me Into A Very Morbid Person. Especially So When You Have A Subject Like 'Pengajian Malaysia', Which Is An 'Upgraded For Higher Education' Version Of History. Worth Noting That The Past Killed Me Enough Times For Me To Hate It More Than A Sucky Future.

Proves That Some Invigilators Are Really Either Sleeping On The Job, Or Are Utter Morons. Hell, I Bet A Brainless Stag Beetle Is Smarter Than They Are Sometimes. Why? Because:

"Do Not Tear Any Paper From The Answer Booklet Unless Otherwise Instructed," Reads Fool From Laminated Script.

HELLO~~~ In Case You Haven't Noticed, It's 'Pengajian Malaysia' Where The Bloody Answer Sheet Is A Singe Piece Of Paper! At Least Notice This One Major Detail Before Going Autopilot, Man.

Unless That Was A Robot Up There Holding A Mike With The Script As The Only Pre-Programmed Dialogue It Is Capable Of. Then It Makes You Wonder What Was The Use Of Holding The Script.

And Bad News For You, Le-Anne Teo, Our UTAR Library's 3rd Floor Has Been Used To Hold Exams. Which Reminds Me Of Something Else:

"Please Do Not Leave The Exam Hall During The First And Last 30 Minutes," Continues Fool.

WAKE UP, YO! 'Tis Not Even A Hall. More Like A Hallway Here Where You Reach The Top Of The Stairs And There's No Door For You To Open And Voila, There's Your Seat For The Exam.

From This I Conclude That UTAR Doesn't Mind Hiring Very Interesting People; Down Syndromes And Language Retards Who Have Obviously Suffered From Fatal And Permanent Head Damage.

So Yeah, 2 More Papers. And With That, Let Me Lie Down In My Coffin While Some One Else Hammers The Nails In And Cements It Shut.

Until I Rise Again, Adieu To Y'all.

Back On The Net

To All Of Y'all Who Don't Already Know, Yes, My Kampar Home's Net's Been Busted For The Past 4 Days. I Know, I Know, It's The Exam Week And All, But Still, 4 Days Without The Net Is A Real Torture.

That's Right People. We Live In An Age Where The Internet Is As Important As Your Bank Account. Either Screws Up, And You Bet There's Gonna Be Some Anxiety In Life. Especially So Nowadays For University Students Where Our Coursework Marks Are Posted Online And The Traditional 'Check The Notice Board' Trend Slowly Phases Out (Not That I Check Them Anyway, Regardless Of Where They're Posted).

And What Can Be Worse That 2 Subjects That Require Memorizing Being Put One Day After The Next? Nothing Much Besides being Put On The Same Day I Guess... Which Is Pretty Much Our Current Situation. Fortunately For Us The University Time Table Setters Aren't That Eager For Blood And Gore In Campus.

I Think That Concludes The Past 4 Days Of Inactivity And Most Of The Coming 2 Days.

So Until Next Time, Adieu To Y'all.