How Everything Flies

It’s been a long while since I last read through every blog of every single friend of mine. Not that I did recently. Just surfed through a few that had made a positive impression in my life. And did I find many points of interest.

Don’t know why, but after that short surf, I actually thought of calling each of them out for a long chat to sort of reminisce about the good old days, though knowing me, there probably isn’t much to talk about. There may not even be any good old days to begin with.

I thought to myself ‘it’s not just distance that makes the heart grow fonder. Time does that as well’. And indeed, though some have been nothing more than mere friends of friends, their lives after we parted seemed so… colourful, for the lack of better words. Sometimes you see them put up some ridiculous story about how they were involved in some dilemma inducing situations so bizarre you thought it could only ever happen to you, you’d think ‘wow’, and for once, really understand the kind of situation they’re in. True empathy, for once.

I dare say I’ve never felt such nostalgia before. No idea why I’m feeling it now. And towards people that I hardly ever converse with, if ever. And how they even made that positive impact to begin with is also beyond me. All of a sudden I feel so lonely.

Perhaps this is what it feels like to truly miss someone, even if it’s someone that I was never close with. Still, why am I feeling this, I’m still trying to figure out. Could be that I desire more than just that plain hi-bye friendship. Maybe what I wanted was to be proper friends with these people. Or maybe I’m just regretting not doing that back when we had ample chance for interaction. Whatever the reason, I feel like there’s something to hold on to still, although deep down inside I know there’s nothing.

This is the first time in who knows how long that I realized how heartrending the past can be. Worst part of it is that there was something that I could’ve done, but didn’t, and only after it’s way too late did I realize that that something was worth doing. Guess I’ll be expecting a teary dream tonight as well.

Well, adieu to y’all. Damn, I’m getting softer and softer with time. That’s not a good sign.

P.S.: The extreme heat and dry winds of CNY that we all know and hate are back. Let's see how long will they last.