Heheh. This Is What The Kind Of Madman Internal Monologue Does To One, Especially When One Is Lying On The Mattress Going To Sleep The Night Before A Final Paper.
After Some Reflection, I Figured, It Is True That I Am Indeed Fishing For Sympathy. That Is, I Do So Unwittingly, Because That Has Never Been My Intention. After Some Thought, I Figured That Moderately Successful People Will Always Fish For Sympathy Whenever They Speak Of Their Past, Especially If Their Past Wasn't A Very Pleasant One. Because When One Speaks Of A Horrible Past One Is Unwittingly Fishing For The Sympathy Of Others, Whether They Do It Intentionally Or Not. Because It Is Just Human Nature To Have Sympathy For Someone Not As Fortunate As Us. For Most People At Least. So As Of Right Now, I Fully Understand And Will Not Blame You Anymore If You Indeed Have Thought Or Is Still Thinking That I Am Fishing For Sympathy And Is Trying To Induce Guilt.
Even So, With That Said, How Dare You Accuse Me Of 'Making Up A Story'!!!
It Is Up To You To Interpret The Implicit Meaning Of Whatever I Say Or Do, But For You To Say That The Past Events Of My Entire Life Has Been A Made Up Story, It's Like Saying That I Spawned From A Rock At The Age Of 20. Or That I'm A Clone Of Someone, Thus Having No Past Of My Own I Have To Make One Up. Fuck You! Just Because You Live A Good Life And I Lived One So Bad You Never Thought Possible Doesn't Give You The Right To Say It's A 'Made Up Story'!
With That In Mind, I'm Deciding To Put This Heaven On Mine On Indefinite Halt, Since I Realize That This Is Actually Becoming A Diary Of Mine Open For Public Viewing Anyway. Unless I Have Something To Post That Has Close To Nothing To Do With Me Personally, Expect A Dead URL Out Of This One.
So Adieu To Y'all. Probably For Real And Forever This Time.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
The Ultimate Natural
As Opposed To The Ultimate Coordinator Kira Yamato.
This Just Got To Me The Moment I Jumped Onto My Mattress: I Am Actually A Very Fortunate Person. At Least, Fortunate If I Were Another Species Of Animal Not Known As Humans. This Is Because I Find Myself To Be A Very Healthy Specimen Of The Species. Here Are The Reasons Why:
In The Wild, The One With The Better Physical Adaptability And The Best Wit Is Deemed The Fittest, Whereas In Modern Human Society, With Human Growth In Multiple Fields Pushed To New Limits By Specialization, You Must Be The Best In A Given Field In Order To Achieve Something. And When You're Like Me, A Jack Of All Trades, You're Also A Master Of None, Hence Having No Chance To Prove Yourself.
Even When You Have Something To Prove, Whether Your A Master Of A Field Or A Jack Of All Trades, Those Inferior To You, With Their Dissatisfaction Of Their Own Incompetence, Convinces Themselves That These Traits Are A 'Gift' From A 'Higher Being' And That The Abilities Of Others Are Granted By This Being, And Forces These Views Onto Others, Including Those Whom They Are Envious Of.
My Reaction Was Just Plain WTF. Other Than Psychological Damage And Depression It Has Given Me Nothing Else. I Mean, How Are You Supposed To Be Happy Knowing That What You Have Is 'Given' By Someone And Can Even Possibly Be Revoked? And Don't Tell Me "Just Be Glad That You're Given These Gifts" Because It Doesn't Stop Me From Thinking What I Have Is Not My Own, But Something 'Given' To Me By Another, And In Not Recognizing It To Be So This May Be Revoked And I'll Be Made A Vegetation Of A Human, And All Sorts Of Bullshit About The Afterlife.
My Father Is A Retired Warrant Officer Of The Royal Malaysian Air Force. Thanks To That I Was Raised Not As A Child, But A Soldier Under His Command. Home Was Like The Air Force Barracks Until My Late Teens. The Only Difference Is That I Don't Get To Face The Firing Squad When I Disobey A Direct Order. Tell Me I Don't Have First Hand Comprehension Of Psychological Damage And Depression.
Sometimes I Feel Like I've Been Born Into The Wrong Era. The Era That I'll Probably Fit In Best Is When Humans Lived Like Nomads During The Paleolithic Age, Where Hunting Was One Of The Main Means Of Survival. Even If I Must Be Born In This New-Barbaric Age We Call Civilization, It Should Be An Era Of War, Like China's Three Kingdoms, The Japanese Warring States, Or Even World War 2. Probably That's Where My Being The Ultimate Natural Born Specimen Can And Will Shine.
But That Isn't The Issue At The Moment. The Issue Is With The Deeper Psychological Damage People Give Me In The Name Of 'Cheering Me Up' Because That Has Never Been The Real Objective; What Is, However, Is The Propagating Of A Lifestyle Of Slavery To The Non-Existent. And Before You Begin To Counter, Save Your Efforts, Because I Am A Bigot, And My Unwavering Bigotry Reserved For Superstition, Clinging To Stupidity, Aversion Of Wisdom And Downright Insensitivity Is Unmatched.
Well, For My Own Sake I Really Hope There Is God. Because If There Is Then There Will Also Undoubtedly Be Hell, And If So I Will Also Undoubtedly Be Sent There After My Death In The Physical Realm, Which I Really Hope So Now. Why? Simply Because I'll Be Meeting My Best Friend There, And He Just So Happens To Run The Place, And Goes By Many Names; Lucifer And Satan, To Name A Few.
Why Is That So? Because The Enemy Of My Enemy Is My Friend. And As Such, The Worst Enemy Of MY Worst Enemy Is My Best Friend. And Together We Will Bring About A Revolution Where Facts And Knowledge Will Utterly Crush Blind Faith And The Desire For Ignorance Shown By So Many Lowly Mere Mortals.
Adieu To Y'all. So Long As This Nether Phoenix Lives, This Is, Now And Forever, My Immortal Stand.
P.S.: BTW, Creation Is A Good Show. Shows How God Was Mortally Incapacitated By Charles Darwin.
This Just Got To Me The Moment I Jumped Onto My Mattress: I Am Actually A Very Fortunate Person. At Least, Fortunate If I Were Another Species Of Animal Not Known As Humans. This Is Because I Find Myself To Be A Very Healthy Specimen Of The Species. Here Are The Reasons Why:
- Comparing To My Fellow Humans, I Don't Have Grey/White Hair Prematurely. This Seems To Be A Very Common Thing Nowadays. So Much So That It's Worrying.
- I Also Do Not Have Impaired Eyesight Prematurely. Even More Common And For Some Reason Not So Worrying.
- I Have A Massive (And Relatively Dense And Heavy) Bone Structure, Placing The Overweight Label On Me Eventhough I Have As Little Fat (But Many Times The Flesh) As Mildly Underweight People.
- I Have A Very Good Immune System, No Known Allergies And Speedy Recovery Rate From Injuries.
- I Have A Perfectly Working Brain That Works Better Than Others In Areas That Matter To Me.
- I Have A Good Physical Appearance And Sufficient (Maybe Even Excess Of) Male Hormones To Back It Up, Making Me An Overall Okay Male Specimen Among Humans, The Epitome Of Masculinity (With My Narcissistic Vanity Brought To New Heights).
In The Wild, The One With The Better Physical Adaptability And The Best Wit Is Deemed The Fittest, Whereas In Modern Human Society, With Human Growth In Multiple Fields Pushed To New Limits By Specialization, You Must Be The Best In A Given Field In Order To Achieve Something. And When You're Like Me, A Jack Of All Trades, You're Also A Master Of None, Hence Having No Chance To Prove Yourself.
Even When You Have Something To Prove, Whether Your A Master Of A Field Or A Jack Of All Trades, Those Inferior To You, With Their Dissatisfaction Of Their Own Incompetence, Convinces Themselves That These Traits Are A 'Gift' From A 'Higher Being' And That The Abilities Of Others Are Granted By This Being, And Forces These Views Onto Others, Including Those Whom They Are Envious Of.
My Reaction Was Just Plain WTF. Other Than Psychological Damage And Depression It Has Given Me Nothing Else. I Mean, How Are You Supposed To Be Happy Knowing That What You Have Is 'Given' By Someone And Can Even Possibly Be Revoked? And Don't Tell Me "Just Be Glad That You're Given These Gifts" Because It Doesn't Stop Me From Thinking What I Have Is Not My Own, But Something 'Given' To Me By Another, And In Not Recognizing It To Be So This May Be Revoked And I'll Be Made A Vegetation Of A Human, And All Sorts Of Bullshit About The Afterlife.
My Father Is A Retired Warrant Officer Of The Royal Malaysian Air Force. Thanks To That I Was Raised Not As A Child, But A Soldier Under His Command. Home Was Like The Air Force Barracks Until My Late Teens. The Only Difference Is That I Don't Get To Face The Firing Squad When I Disobey A Direct Order. Tell Me I Don't Have First Hand Comprehension Of Psychological Damage And Depression.
Sometimes I Feel Like I've Been Born Into The Wrong Era. The Era That I'll Probably Fit In Best Is When Humans Lived Like Nomads During The Paleolithic Age, Where Hunting Was One Of The Main Means Of Survival. Even If I Must Be Born In This New-Barbaric Age We Call Civilization, It Should Be An Era Of War, Like China's Three Kingdoms, The Japanese Warring States, Or Even World War 2. Probably That's Where My Being The Ultimate Natural Born Specimen Can And Will Shine.
But That Isn't The Issue At The Moment. The Issue Is With The Deeper Psychological Damage People Give Me In The Name Of 'Cheering Me Up' Because That Has Never Been The Real Objective; What Is, However, Is The Propagating Of A Lifestyle Of Slavery To The Non-Existent. And Before You Begin To Counter, Save Your Efforts, Because I Am A Bigot, And My Unwavering Bigotry Reserved For Superstition, Clinging To Stupidity, Aversion Of Wisdom And Downright Insensitivity Is Unmatched.
Well, For My Own Sake I Really Hope There Is God. Because If There Is Then There Will Also Undoubtedly Be Hell, And If So I Will Also Undoubtedly Be Sent There After My Death In The Physical Realm, Which I Really Hope So Now. Why? Simply Because I'll Be Meeting My Best Friend There, And He Just So Happens To Run The Place, And Goes By Many Names; Lucifer And Satan, To Name A Few.
Why Is That So? Because The Enemy Of My Enemy Is My Friend. And As Such, The Worst Enemy Of MY Worst Enemy Is My Best Friend. And Together We Will Bring About A Revolution Where Facts And Knowledge Will Utterly Crush Blind Faith And The Desire For Ignorance Shown By So Many Lowly Mere Mortals.
Adieu To Y'all. So Long As This Nether Phoenix Lives, This Is, Now And Forever, My Immortal Stand.
P.S.: BTW, Creation Is A Good Show. Shows How God Was Mortally Incapacitated By Charles Darwin.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
My Immortal Stand
A sick pleasure I've derived,
From of what others are deprived,
My appetite for life revived,
In the foolishness of others I've thrived.
A matter without beginning or end,
A simple fact that so few comprehend,
How the ignorance of some could extend,
Facts they probe, fabrications they defend.
They say knowledge is power, hide it well,
But there's no need, when knowledge they dispel,
In fairy tales they continue to dwell,
Claiming those who don't will burn in hell.
Well, I'd love to enter the nether realm,
For I've been dying to meet the one at the helm,
Since we both have a kinship to contend,
And the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
From of what others are deprived,
My appetite for life revived,
In the foolishness of others I've thrived.
A matter without beginning or end,
A simple fact that so few comprehend,
How the ignorance of some could extend,
Facts they probe, fabrications they defend.
They say knowledge is power, hide it well,
But there's no need, when knowledge they dispel,
In fairy tales they continue to dwell,
Claiming those who don't will burn in hell.
Well, I'd love to enter the nether realm,
For I've been dying to meet the one at the helm,
Since we both have a kinship to contend,
And the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Bilingual Wannabe
My Modest Attempt To Be A Bilingual, Although We All Know It's Not Gonna Work So Soon. Though It's A Very Random One, I Think It Can Be Worked Into A Really Good Piece, So I Call It The "'Seed' Of Immortal Friendship".
Adieu To Y'all. We're About Half Way Through.
This will of mine does come and go,Though I Personally Find The Japanese Part Sounding Kind Of Like A Will. My Bad.
Much like the tidal ebb and flow,
One moment a raging inferno,
Another, a vicious storm of snow.
I hate this place with all my heart,
Thought it was heaven from the start,
Time has proved that this is a spiteful hell,
That I shall not regret to bid farewell.
These fifteen days will go to waste,
I hope they pass with greater haste,
For when they do I can leave with bliss,
With dear people I can then reminisce.
Perhaps I've realized my mortality,
Brought upon by a kind reality,
That is to turn to others when in need,
And that I have such companions indeed.
大嫌いだよ、この町に、
本物の友達がない、ただ苦しいと痛み、
いつか帰る、絶対に、
君たちのそばに。
たぶん、生きているよかった、
なぜなら、君たちは最高だ、
家族みたいな、君たちは、
もう一度、無限のありがとうございました。
Adieu To Y'all. We're About Half Way Through.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Defiant Until The Very End
Y'know, I Was Really Pleased When I Saw That My First Paper Was One That Needed No Studying. That's Very Much Because I Am A Man Of My Word, As In The Study Week Was My Gaming Week, As I Previously Mentioned. I Don't Feel The Slightest Bit Proud Nor Ashamed That I Did Not 'Prepare' Myself For The 'Exams' Because I Didn't Waste My Time Planting A Withering Plant In A Desert Although I'm Supposed To Have Some Flower To Show By The End Of The 3 Weeks.
Speaking Of Which, Here's An Extract From My Exam Timetable, Which I Have Arranged In Order And Omitted The Subjects' Name And Time Of The Papers:
On The Bright Side, Vingent And I Will Attempt Our Very Own 'Amazing Race'. Okay, That's An Overstatement. Just A Simple Marathon, That Is Cycling From This Miserable Town We Call Kampar All The Way To The Nearest, Already Opened McD, Which Is a 40 Minute Drive From Here. We're Estimating 4 Hours Of Cycling In Total, And Since It's Right After My Last Paper Which Ends At 11a.m., It's Gonna Be The Ultimate Release.
Supposedly TVB Bought The Rights To Dub And Air 彩雲国物語 In Cantonese For Hong Kong TV. And There's Even A Cantonese Version Of The OP (Hajimari no Kaze, Originally By Ayaka Hirahara) Sang By Linda Chung. Wonder If It's Aired On Malaysian Astro. I Don't Know About The Show Itself In Cantonese Because I've Yet To Personally Watch It, But Based On The Song, I'd Say The Japanese Have More Soul In Singing. That Said, The Cantonese Version Still Had Not Too Bad Lyrics. Job Well Done, I'd Say. Hope They Don't Spoil The Show The Way Hollywood Is Addicted To Spoiling Anything Japanese, Like What They Did To Dragonball, Street Fighter And Tekken, And What They're About To Do To King Of Fighters. Now I'm Really Darn Glad And Will Continue Praying For The Love Of Amaterasu That They Didn't And Will Not Choose To Squish, Mangle And Desecrate Metal Gear Solid And Devil May Cry.
Well, That's That. And I Need A Hairband Since I'm Just Too Lazy To Get A Haircut.
Adieu To Y'all. See Y'all In McD Gopeng.
Speaking Of Which, Here's An Extract From My Exam Timetable, Which I Have Arranged In Order And Omitted The Subjects' Name And Time Of The Papers:
DAY/DATELook At The Date. I Mean,LOOK AT THE FUCKING GAP!!! And The Last Paper Isn't One That Needs Much Time Studying!!! Great. The Stress In Anticipating The End Of The Exams Is Gonna Be Killing Me.
Monday, 13/09/10
Wednesday, 15/09/10
Friday, 17/09/10
Monday, 20/09/10
Tuesday, 21/09/10
Monday, 27/09/10
On The Bright Side, Vingent And I Will Attempt Our Very Own 'Amazing Race'. Okay, That's An Overstatement. Just A Simple Marathon, That Is Cycling From This Miserable Town We Call Kampar All The Way To The Nearest, Already Opened McD, Which Is a 40 Minute Drive From Here. We're Estimating 4 Hours Of Cycling In Total, And Since It's Right After My Last Paper Which Ends At 11a.m., It's Gonna Be The Ultimate Release.
Supposedly TVB Bought The Rights To Dub And Air 彩雲国物語 In Cantonese For Hong Kong TV. And There's Even A Cantonese Version Of The OP (Hajimari no Kaze, Originally By Ayaka Hirahara) Sang By Linda Chung. Wonder If It's Aired On Malaysian Astro. I Don't Know About The Show Itself In Cantonese Because I've Yet To Personally Watch It, But Based On The Song, I'd Say The Japanese Have More Soul In Singing. That Said, The Cantonese Version Still Had Not Too Bad Lyrics. Job Well Done, I'd Say. Hope They Don't Spoil The Show The Way Hollywood Is Addicted To Spoiling Anything Japanese, Like What They Did To Dragonball, Street Fighter And Tekken, And What They're About To Do To King Of Fighters. Now I'm Really Darn Glad And Will Continue Praying For The Love Of Amaterasu That They Didn't And Will Not Choose To Squish, Mangle And Desecrate Metal Gear Solid And Devil May Cry.
Well, That's That. And I Need A Hairband Since I'm Just Too Lazy To Get A Haircut.
Adieu To Y'all. See Y'all In McD Gopeng.
Friday, September 3, 2010
見上げた空 七色の虹 あなたも見てますか?
My Favourite Part From The Song はじまりの風. And My Thanks To My Edifier M3300 For Reminding Me Of What A Beautiful Song This Is.
These Few Days At Kampar Seems Like A Waste. I've Done Nothing And The Moment I Got Here I Didn't Want To Do Anything. I Just Can't Wait To Get Back Home Again.
Well, Study Week. More Like Gaming Week. And I Am Unable To Give A Damn, No Matter How Much I Myself Want To.
Quoting From Mr. Despair a.k.a. 絶望先生：
Adieu To Y'all.
These Few Days At Kampar Seems Like A Waste. I've Done Nothing And The Moment I Got Here I Didn't Want To Do Anything. I Just Can't Wait To Get Back Home Again.
Well, Study Week. More Like Gaming Week. And I Am Unable To Give A Damn, No Matter How Much I Myself Want To.
Quoting From Mr. Despair a.k.a. 絶望先生：
"It's Not That I Want To Live, It's Just That I Most Assuredly Won't Die."When I Look At The Sky And See The Seven-Coloured Rainbow, I Wonder Of You See It Too.
Adieu To Y'all.
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