To Live Or Not To Live

I Wish To Leave That Choice To Fate But Fate Has Been Playing Around With Me For The Past 18 Years And Now I'm Not Sure If It's Worth Believing In Fate. If It Is, Well, Lets Just Say I Must've Been A Mass Murderer In A Past Life And Karma Is Striking At My Current Innocent Existence (Which Is Why I Don't Believe In Karma).

Up To Now, Maths Is Killing Me. I Have No Idea How The Love For It Turned To Hate When My Secondary School Life Began, But It Doesn't Seem To Be Reverting To How It Was In This Life. The Jokers Of Lecturers Don't Really Make Things Any Better, And Hopefully I Will Become A Joker Myself Before I Get Bored To Death By Jokers In Learning Places. Not To Say They're Doing A Bad Job, No. In Fact, I Respect Them. Just That They Trying To Make Me Change My Current Opinion Toward The Subject Is A Joke To Me.

Had Quite A Lengthy Chat With Maggie Regarding An Online Game 'Dragon Raja' Which I Last Heard Of Around 5 Years Ago Before I Joined UTAR. I Must Say, I've Never Had Such A Chat About Games In A Very Long Time, And With A Top Student Girl At That. Then Again, I've Never Had Such A Chat About Games With A Girl Before, And At That Time I Thought To Myself "How Much More New Experiences Can I Possibly Experience In This Miserable Well Of A World Of Mine? Is This Well Expanding Miraculously Or Am I Actually Climbing Out Of It?" Hope To Do So Again Soon... It Was... Kind Of Enjoyable...

With Every Passing Lecture/Tutorial Of Social Psychology, I Wish I'd Be Able To Hypnotize Myself After I Get My Degree. Why? I Need To Stop Myself From Thinking About Things That I Shouldn't Be Thinking About, As Well As (Most Importantly) To Stop Thinking About People I Shouldn't Be Thinking About.

And I Also Need To Fix By Biological Clock...

Everyday After Classes I Walk Home Like An Idiot Bathing In Sunrays And Drop Dead Right On My Mattress Only To Wake Up During Dinnertime Or So And Can't Help But DotA Right After That, All The Way Till At Least Midnight. And I Tell Myself Everyday In The Morning That I'd Sleep At 10 Coz I Don't Wanna Wake Up As A Zombie The Next Morning. Life As A Gamer Sucks When The Importance Of Papers Somehow Precedes Life.

But If There's Something That I'm Proud Of This Eccentric, Crazy Mind Of Mine, Is My Creativity At Doing Pointless Things. My Own Music Therapy Is Working So Well That I'd Drop Dead Real Soon Even If I Had Insomnia And Wake Up Like A Zombie Without Fail Every Morning No Matter How Much Sleep I Get.

So, Yeah. Good Day. Adieu To Y'all And Hope You Guys Do Better In Life Than This Ridiculous Excuse Of A Person.