Graceful shadows in a sea of light,
Flowing tears of immense delight,
Up in a kingdom above the clouds,
With endless waves of passionate crowds.
When a star shows its true face,
It shines with the truest of grace,
Behind the facade lies a weakness true,
A radiance seen only by a few.
By a strange fortune I've seen this light,
One that kept up a twenty year fight,
By its fortune it's known such success,
A fortune I'll not envy nor obsess.
May the star shine eternally bright,
Above the clouds, above the highlands,
May it continue to radiate light,
So that from troughs may rise more diamonds.
Sunday, November 22, 2015
Monday, August 17, 2015
A Dream's War of the Roses
From my slumbering mind, spawned a dream,
One that flowed in a violent stream,
A clash of forces that couldn't oppose;
Of the ruby rose and the paper rose.
A discord across time and space,
A conflict that made my resting heart race,
A feud that nearly dampened my dry eyes,
Caused by inner despair on the rise.
As I awoke from the nightmare,
I am freed from the deadly scare,
Immense danger this libretto poses;
The wilting of my beloved roses.
But the dream served as a premonition;
I've then learned of my omission,
From the memory of the ruby rose;
Now I strive to maintain my position,
To prevent my rescission,
From the pleasance of the paper rose.
One that flowed in a violent stream,
A clash of forces that couldn't oppose;
Of the ruby rose and the paper rose.
A discord across time and space,
A conflict that made my resting heart race,
A feud that nearly dampened my dry eyes,
Caused by inner despair on the rise.
As I awoke from the nightmare,
I am freed from the deadly scare,
Immense danger this libretto poses;
The wilting of my beloved roses.
But the dream served as a premonition;
I've then learned of my omission,
From the memory of the ruby rose;
Now I strive to maintain my position,
To prevent my rescission,
From the pleasance of the paper rose.
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
The furthest, most eye-opening flight
I'm not even home yet and I miss Perth already.
Maybe I'm missing Australia in general. I miss the nice cool winds, the chilly nights, but most of all, I miss two things: the friendliness of the people working in the service industry, and the fact that every single person speaks in English, which means much to me, as a person whose first language is that of her royal highness.
I already dread the service industry back home. The industry where people are either "friendly" when they annoy you with a "yes?" whenever you pass by their shop, or when they totally ignore you. I already miss the properly friendly culture where staff of shops greet you with a simple "hello" or following up with "how are you today?" in which you could just reply with your own "hello" or answer their question with any of the variations of "I'm fine, thank you," after which they leave you to your own devices or ask if you need help with anything. Best of all is that everyone speaks in complete English sentences, which gives the illusion that they're actually trying to strike a meaningful conversation with you, rather than just wanting your money and you out of there immediately after.
Another thing I massively enjoyed was the opportunity to speak in the Queen's English, rather than our Manglish. Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against Manglish; I speak it more than English, and continue to do so with most of the people I know. But the idea of being able to use proper grammar and not use unnecessary suffixes at the end of every sentence was extremely stimulating. There has never been a culture shock as pleasant as this.
As this is the furthest I have ever been from the land I call home, it is natural that this is the first time I actually felt like I'm traveling away from home. There have been differences between home and our closer neighbours, but in the end, it has to be said that there are way more similarities than there are differences, the key one probably being weather. In fact, if it weren't for the knowledge that I was in a foreign country, should I have suffered from amnesia I would have believed that I was in Malaysia even if I was in fact in Singapore, Thailand or Indonesia. And I cannot imagine saying the same for Australia.
As with Singapore, I could easily imagine making a living in Australia if I was paid in Australian dollars instead of in ringgit. In fact, with my fairly thrifty nature, I would say that I'd probably live a comfortable life with ample luxuries. Then again, from what I've seen, the average middle class person in the anglosphere probably would too, when I'm reminded of the value of their currency and the buying power that results.
So yes, I am extremely poor as a result of my visit to Australia, but it has been a very well-worth visit. I can only imagine the joy I would experience should I be able to visit America or Britain. But I probably wouldn't simply because of how much it would cost to merely get there, not to mention to live there for a few days.
And on that bombshell, adieu to y'all.
P.S.: Apparently the kindness I described does not apply to the whole of Australia, which is a little disappointing. Still, should I have the fortune to be moving to the country, I know which city I'll be calling home.
Maybe I'm missing Australia in general. I miss the nice cool winds, the chilly nights, but most of all, I miss two things: the friendliness of the people working in the service industry, and the fact that every single person speaks in English, which means much to me, as a person whose first language is that of her royal highness.
I already dread the service industry back home. The industry where people are either "friendly" when they annoy you with a "yes?" whenever you pass by their shop, or when they totally ignore you. I already miss the properly friendly culture where staff of shops greet you with a simple "hello" or following up with "how are you today?" in which you could just reply with your own "hello" or answer their question with any of the variations of "I'm fine, thank you," after which they leave you to your own devices or ask if you need help with anything. Best of all is that everyone speaks in complete English sentences, which gives the illusion that they're actually trying to strike a meaningful conversation with you, rather than just wanting your money and you out of there immediately after.
Another thing I massively enjoyed was the opportunity to speak in the Queen's English, rather than our Manglish. Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against Manglish; I speak it more than English, and continue to do so with most of the people I know. But the idea of being able to use proper grammar and not use unnecessary suffixes at the end of every sentence was extremely stimulating. There has never been a culture shock as pleasant as this.
As this is the furthest I have ever been from the land I call home, it is natural that this is the first time I actually felt like I'm traveling away from home. There have been differences between home and our closer neighbours, but in the end, it has to be said that there are way more similarities than there are differences, the key one probably being weather. In fact, if it weren't for the knowledge that I was in a foreign country, should I have suffered from amnesia I would have believed that I was in Malaysia even if I was in fact in Singapore, Thailand or Indonesia. And I cannot imagine saying the same for Australia.
As with Singapore, I could easily imagine making a living in Australia if I was paid in Australian dollars instead of in ringgit. In fact, with my fairly thrifty nature, I would say that I'd probably live a comfortable life with ample luxuries. Then again, from what I've seen, the average middle class person in the anglosphere probably would too, when I'm reminded of the value of their currency and the buying power that results.
So yes, I am extremely poor as a result of my visit to Australia, but it has been a very well-worth visit. I can only imagine the joy I would experience should I be able to visit America or Britain. But I probably wouldn't simply because of how much it would cost to merely get there, not to mention to live there for a few days.
And on that bombshell, adieu to y'all.
P.S.: Apparently the kindness I described does not apply to the whole of Australia, which is a little disappointing. Still, should I have the fortune to be moving to the country, I know which city I'll be calling home.
Monday, May 25, 2015
Feelings of my Beating Heart
It wasn't that long ago when,
My dead heart started beating once again,
It was thanks to a dazzling smile,
My heart it will continue to beguile.
Will you be willing to hold my hand,
As we fly away to a far away land?
May I have this dance, my lady?
Or is he still in your dreams lately?
The thought of giving up had crossed my mind,
But I'm unable to do it, I find;
My pride compels me to test my might,
My feelings compel me to keep up the fight.
Though tepid your feelings for me may be,
In the end, you're the only one I see,
Will you let me hold your hand?
For you light up the darkness where I stand.
I remember the day we first met,
It was a sight I'll never forget,
Since then I've not one regret,
For every time, your attention I get.
I know you're tired of making angry faces,
It's put my feelings through its paces,
That's how I know that they're still true,
For after seeing them, I still love you.
I'd love to converse with you more,
Even if they're things you've heard of before,
You sway me silly, this fact I avow,
But are you still thinking of him right now?
Even if you do not care for me,
I'm still in love with you, you see,
No matter where in your heart I stand,
I'll be waiting for you to hold my hand.
My dead heart started beating once again,
It was thanks to a dazzling smile,
My heart it will continue to beguile.
Will you be willing to hold my hand,
As we fly away to a far away land?
May I have this dance, my lady?
Or is he still in your dreams lately?
The thought of giving up had crossed my mind,
But I'm unable to do it, I find;
My pride compels me to test my might,
My feelings compel me to keep up the fight.
Though tepid your feelings for me may be,
In the end, you're the only one I see,
Will you let me hold your hand?
For you light up the darkness where I stand.
I remember the day we first met,
It was a sight I'll never forget,
Since then I've not one regret,
For every time, your attention I get.
I know you're tired of making angry faces,
It's put my feelings through its paces,
That's how I know that they're still true,
For after seeing them, I still love you.
I'd love to converse with you more,
Even if they're things you've heard of before,
You sway me silly, this fact I avow,
But are you still thinking of him right now?
Even if you do not care for me,
I'm still in love with you, you see,
No matter where in your heart I stand,
I'll be waiting for you to hold my hand.
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Bidding an Angel Farewell
My time is short and I haven't gone far,
The progress I made was not up to par,
Will I gain my beloved prize,
Or should I have heeded what I realize?
The soft touch, I've begun to miss,
The gentle voice that brought me such bliss,
The one who has brought out the best of me,
Made me the best man I could ever be.
Now I feel like I've been left in the dark,
Seeking the slightest twinkle or spark,
I sought to taste the forbidden fruit,
Yet now I feel I've lost this pursuit.
Never has one inspired me so,
Fueled my passion to such a blaze,
Never have I been so raring to go,
Only you I desire with such a craze.
Prematurely, I foresee an end,
To the time together that we spend,
I wish I could do more before then,
I wish for the chance to try again.
For you I give beyond my all,
For you I risk my greatest fall,
For you I fight to change my fate,
For you I will patiently wait.
Perhaps you don't feel as I do for you,
Only for me is this magic true,
But I'd do it all over again,
For your love I'll endure infinite pain.
Even if all this must end some day,
There is something I have to say;
Let it be on this note, when we do part:
Know that I love you with all my heart.
The progress I made was not up to par,
Will I gain my beloved prize,
Or should I have heeded what I realize?
The soft touch, I've begun to miss,
The gentle voice that brought me such bliss,
The one who has brought out the best of me,
Made me the best man I could ever be.
Now I feel like I've been left in the dark,
Seeking the slightest twinkle or spark,
I sought to taste the forbidden fruit,
Yet now I feel I've lost this pursuit.
Never has one inspired me so,
Fueled my passion to such a blaze,
Never have I been so raring to go,
Only you I desire with such a craze.
Prematurely, I foresee an end,
To the time together that we spend,
I wish I could do more before then,
I wish for the chance to try again.
For you I give beyond my all,
For you I risk my greatest fall,
For you I fight to change my fate,
For you I will patiently wait.
Perhaps you don't feel as I do for you,
Only for me is this magic true,
But I'd do it all over again,
For your love I'll endure infinite pain.
Even if all this must end some day,
There is something I have to say;
Let it be on this note, when we do part:
Know that I love you with all my heart.
Essence of a Yearning Soul
Life continues to push me down,
Too many times I've been made to frown,
My thoughts now consumed with death,
Yet I wake every morning drawing breath.
When will I gain control,
Of the yearnings of my soul?
Again and again my desire,
Leads me to burn in fire.
Will I, for once, obtain what I seek,
Even when conditions appear most bleak?
Will I have the conviction to see it through,
And still endure the failure that may ensue?
Why must the forbidden fruit taste so sweet?
It's mere absence makes me feel incomplete;
It's mere taste gives me wings to fly,
If I can't have it, I'd rather just die.
But I've never wanted something more,
So deep within me it tore,
Never have I felt such desperation,
Never was I fueled with such volition,
This one time I shan't relent,
For you I'll endure any torment,
Till I've the snow flower that is your heart,
I shall not be falling apart.
I will make known my feelings for you,
My actions will show that they are true,
Even if now they are not due,
I will prove that I am the one for you.
You have brought out the best of me,
Half of my life's best work are thanks to thee,
I hope to gain the right to let you see,
My endless pool of poetry.
You are engraved in my soul,
You are the angel I seek,
You are the one who makes me whole,
You are the only one for me, Monique.
Too many times I've been made to frown,
My thoughts now consumed with death,
Yet I wake every morning drawing breath.
When will I gain control,
Of the yearnings of my soul?
Again and again my desire,
Leads me to burn in fire.
Will I, for once, obtain what I seek,
Even when conditions appear most bleak?
Will I have the conviction to see it through,
And still endure the failure that may ensue?
Why must the forbidden fruit taste so sweet?
It's mere absence makes me feel incomplete;
It's mere taste gives me wings to fly,
If I can't have it, I'd rather just die.
But I've never wanted something more,
So deep within me it tore,
Never have I felt such desperation,
Never was I fueled with such volition,
This one time I shan't relent,
For you I'll endure any torment,
Till I've the snow flower that is your heart,
I shall not be falling apart.
I will make known my feelings for you,
My actions will show that they are true,
Even if now they are not due,
I will prove that I am the one for you.
You have brought out the best of me,
Half of my life's best work are thanks to thee,
I hope to gain the right to let you see,
My endless pool of poetry.
You are engraved in my soul,
You are the angel I seek,
You are the one who makes me whole,
You are the only one for me, Monique.
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Petals of a Snow Flower
I have always known the summer sun,
The light from which I cannot run,
But when I catch a glimpse of your eyes,
I am cooled from the heat I so despise.
Through your eyes I see snowflakes,
Flowers from the winter sky,
When I lose sight of them, my heart aches,
Yet I can do naught but stand idly by.
Perhaps love is like a snow flower,
A beauty which I can never see and never hold,
Never taste and never smell;
Will the day I see my first snowflake shower,
Be the day I'm set free from this empty cold,
And finally know love's alluring spell?
I'd like to be able to melt your heart,
Like how the summer sun melts the snow,
I hope these words of mine are a start,
Because for you, they will endlessly flow.
Will I one day hold your hand,
And walk with you on frozen lakes?
Will I hold you close as we stand,
Among the countless falling flakes?
Will I ever gain the right,
To be by your side every night,
To together catch the new day's first light,
All the way to the following twilight?
Perhaps love is like a snow flower,
A beauty that exists only in dreams,
Never tangible and never real;
Will the day I stand in a snowflake shower,
Be the day I feel the endless streams,
Of snow and of your love that will finally reveal,
A real snow flower within your heart?
If so,
I'd like to embrace your everything,
Your strengths and weaknesses, your slights and extremes,
I'd like this to be more than just a fling,
For you are the snow flower of my dreams.
The light from which I cannot run,
But when I catch a glimpse of your eyes,
I am cooled from the heat I so despise.
Through your eyes I see snowflakes,
Flowers from the winter sky,
When I lose sight of them, my heart aches,
Yet I can do naught but stand idly by.
Perhaps love is like a snow flower,
A beauty which I can never see and never hold,
Never taste and never smell;
Will the day I see my first snowflake shower,
Be the day I'm set free from this empty cold,
And finally know love's alluring spell?
I'd like to be able to melt your heart,
Like how the summer sun melts the snow,
I hope these words of mine are a start,
Because for you, they will endlessly flow.
Will I one day hold your hand,
And walk with you on frozen lakes?
Will I hold you close as we stand,
Among the countless falling flakes?
Will I ever gain the right,
To be by your side every night,
To together catch the new day's first light,
All the way to the following twilight?
Perhaps love is like a snow flower,
A beauty that exists only in dreams,
Never tangible and never real;
Will the day I stand in a snowflake shower,
Be the day I feel the endless streams,
Of snow and of your love that will finally reveal,
A real snow flower within your heart?
If so,
I'd like to embrace your everything,
Your strengths and weaknesses, your slights and extremes,
I'd like this to be more than just a fling,
For you are the snow flower of my dreams.
Looking for an Angel's Heart
As I awake every day,
I know I will be led astray,
The moment I catch your warm gaze,
Which ignites a passionate craze.
I'm so madly enthralled by you,
That's when I know these feelings are true,
I know that I'm in love with you,
Yet I know these feelings are not due.
When will it change, this relationship?
This feeling of being toyed and shoved?
You are not mine to tightly grip,
Nor are you mine to deeply love.
My feelings are going nowhere,
Such agony beyond compare,
I've spent sleepless nights trying not to care,
Hoping you'll know yet remain unaware.
How intense must these feelings be,
Before they can safely reach thee?
My heart can contain them no more,
But these feelings, I still cannot outpour.
Will these feelings fade away,
Like cherry blossoms at the end of spring?
Will I survive to see the day,
When these conflicting feelings take wing?
Will these feelings be frozen,
Despite my heart's burning passion?
Will I succumb to the poison,
Of this unrequited emotion?
I want to stay near you,
I want an end to just glancing at you,
I want to make known my feelings for you,
I want to shout out "I love you."
I know I will be led astray,
The moment I catch your warm gaze,
Which ignites a passionate craze.
I'm so madly enthralled by you,
That's when I know these feelings are true,
I know that I'm in love with you,
Yet I know these feelings are not due.
When will it change, this relationship?
This feeling of being toyed and shoved?
You are not mine to tightly grip,
Nor are you mine to deeply love.
My feelings are going nowhere,
Such agony beyond compare,
I've spent sleepless nights trying not to care,
Hoping you'll know yet remain unaware.
How intense must these feelings be,
Before they can safely reach thee?
My heart can contain them no more,
But these feelings, I still cannot outpour.
Will these feelings fade away,
Like cherry blossoms at the end of spring?
Will I survive to see the day,
When these conflicting feelings take wing?
Will these feelings be frozen,
Despite my heart's burning passion?
Will I succumb to the poison,
Of this unrequited emotion?
I want to stay near you,
I want an end to just glancing at you,
I want to make known my feelings for you,
I want to shout out "I love you."
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Musings of a Withered Mind
And now I’ve done it. Torn myself up and apart.
It felt like only yesterday the fading embers within were relit into the raging blaze that got me into this mess. And it literally was only yesterday when the raging blaze decided to suddenly up and vanish, leaving the dying embers which place the burning flames took.
It was this very blaze that allowed me to write five of the seven best works of my life. And yet, the very same blaze has consumed me, leaving me dead on the inside now. Perhaps even the hottest of flames die when there is nothing left to burn.
The void has returned sooner than I had expected it to. The seeping despair has dampened the flames faster than I thought it would. And now, I sit here wondering, why did my heart light up in the first place if it wasn’t going to stay lit until the very bitter end? And the end isn’t even that much further away. How different would my life had been if the dying embers were not relit by that one dazzling, beguiling smile?
A smile that proclaims to mask a succubus. Yet, I couldn’t care less if there was any truth behind those words. If I could die in a way of my choice, then being sucked lifeless by a succubus would be a dream come true. A dream that remains a dream, as sweet as it was, and as long as it has lasted, for in the end, the painful reality wakes me from the deepest sleep. After all, if a Devil such as I deserved a companion, a succubus would be the perfect fit. But, again, perfection is the stuff of dreams. No such greatness belongs in the realm of reality.
As I was enthralled, everything seemed hopeful… happy, even. and now that I am disenthralled by reasons still unknown, reality reminds me to stop dreaming for as long as I’m awake and alive. Something I've always endeavoured to do, but as this entire scenario has shown, something I cannot maintain. The heart is a fickle thing, one that, sadly, I cannot live without.
It is also in this moment of clarity that I have realized how much of a woman I’ve become in my pursuit of one. I’ve inadvertently begun to rely on others, to speak my mind more often to those who couldn’t care less, to be nosy and noisy, to be weak and reliant. My old stoic, solitary and strong self has been completely destroyed by my desire of her company. My 24 years of solitude turned into loneliness in a mere three months, and for the 6 months since, I’ve caused trouble to my surrogate brothers and sisters. I, the strongest of the lot, reduced to the weakest of them all, by a force I do not comprehend, yet desire so dearly. But perhaps my softer self has been a blessing, as it cushioned the fall somewhat; despite this being my most emotionally invested attempt, it also ended up being the least hurtful, even if it was the most disappointing one. Also arguable is that my soft self has been my best self after all. I would think so, for I've been willing to do things I'd have never would have done otherwise. My surrogate family would agree, albeit for different reasons.
It was long ago that I have accepted that, no effort nor labour is a match for fate. And yet, this single encounter made me take leave of all reason, to believe that my purest sheer will and effort is enough to change my fate. I knew I was delusional, I knew I will be disappointed, and yet I went for it anyway. It was more than a lapse of judgement; it was totally taking leave of my senses.
I started this journey, with the expectation of failure. I was not disappointed, and yet I feel immense disappointment. Partly because my preparedness had not saved me from my expected despair, but perhaps partly also because I was silly enough to believe in my nonexistent ability to change the flow of my destiny.
Perhaps this is me biting of more than I could chew. Perhaps this is me not knowing my place. But all that’s fine. Now, I seek the next best thing: closure. I can only suspect that the dampening of the raging blaze within was due to the obvious reluctance at reciprocation, again something I foresaw yet could not handle.
Also aware I am of the hypocrisy of it all. From my own defending of high moral standards and my own breaking of the very same standards, to the simultaneous support and disdain shown towards my endeavours; people who both encourage and discourage me at the same time. It is true then: time is the answer to everything; from the destiny the future holds to the honesty of mortals.
At the end of it all, I regret only the fact that I'm not in control of my own emotions. All that I have done beyond, I regret none. I'd rather regret making a mistake than regret inaction; a lesson I've learned since a previous debacle.
Friday, May 8, 2015
Foreseeing Impending Doom
I’ve seen the future and I’m not in it,
The world revolves on as it sees fit,
Though I foresee my fall from such heights,
I can’t help but continue my flights.
At long last, I am finally freed,
My own delusions I no longer feed,
Eyes open after sweet, long dream,
For painful reality still reigns supreme.
I’ve but a fortnight to brace for the fall,
Then I’ll return to being a living doll,
The inner fire has died once again,
Hopes dashed as pain and despair reign.
The embers of my wings grow cold,
Despite the former flame raging bold,
Ash they may remain this time,
Never to be lit to its brilliant prime.
My resignation to failure,
Has failed to be my saviour;
I was prepared to not succeed,
Yet in loss, despair continues to breed.
Indeed I should’ve heeded what I knew,
That dreams are always too good to be true,
That reality is all but pleasant,
Only in dreams are joy and hope present.
I’ve done all that I could do,
Determined now is my efforts’ value,
Proven that labour is no match for fate,
Which causes nothing but sorrow and hate.
Another heart I have yet lost,
As a seemingly inevitable cost,
Should another take its place in this void,
May the one who claims it be overjoyed.
The world revolves on as it sees fit,
Though I foresee my fall from such heights,
I can’t help but continue my flights.
At long last, I am finally freed,
My own delusions I no longer feed,
Eyes open after sweet, long dream,
For painful reality still reigns supreme.
I’ve but a fortnight to brace for the fall,
Then I’ll return to being a living doll,
The inner fire has died once again,
Hopes dashed as pain and despair reign.
The embers of my wings grow cold,
Despite the former flame raging bold,
Ash they may remain this time,
Never to be lit to its brilliant prime.
My resignation to failure,
Has failed to be my saviour;
I was prepared to not succeed,
Yet in loss, despair continues to breed.
Indeed I should’ve heeded what I knew,
That dreams are always too good to be true,
That reality is all but pleasant,
Only in dreams are joy and hope present.
I’ve done all that I could do,
Determined now is my efforts’ value,
Proven that labour is no match for fate,
Which causes nothing but sorrow and hate.
Another heart I have yet lost,
As a seemingly inevitable cost,
Should another take its place in this void,
May the one who claims it be overjoyed.
Friday, March 13, 2015
Singapore: Taking oxymoron to a whole new level
As I’m writing this from Singapore’s Carlton Hotel, I’ve come to the realization that most of what I’ve heard of the little country from others who’ve been here have been confirmed. What I also realize is the fact that some of these things I’ve heard have much darker implications that I initially thought, which sort of warps the image I had for the island nation.
I got here for work, expecting a pretty packed schedule like the last time I got out of my birth country for work. But no. We had to find our own way out of the airport and to our accommodation. We had to sort out our own transport and food, and that hurts when you come from a country which currency is close to three times smaller, and shrinking; a meal at a fast food joint here could pay for two back home.
As a result of this kind of independence that I don’t think anyone can appreciate, our schedule was pretty lax. No ‘get to the lobby by 6pm so we can go the restaurant and have dinner by 7’ nonsense, which results in a wounded wallet and a ton of free time. No ‘get ready by noon because the event starts at 2pm and we have the traffic to deal with’ either, since the gig was held in the hotel itself. And because of this unexpected amount of free time, I got into contact with a couple of friends, one whose family has moved here since before the person in question got to college and the other who moved here for work after graduation. Because of the short notice, none of them could play tour guide (and sort out my meals) for me, so I was left wandering the streets while looking for lunch and dinner. And what I saw was quite shocking.
There are many things you hear about Singapore, chief among them are the fact that the people here live very fast-paced – and there for stressful – lives, and if you can afford a car here, chances are you can afford the country. The latter was painfully obvious; there are more taxis than there are cars, and in the few cars that are around, you’d be about as lucky as finding a needle in a haystack without hurting yourself if you could find one occupied only by the driver. Almost everyone carpools here, unlike back home where almost everyone insists to be the only living organism in their car.
And the reason this is possible is because the public transport system is great. Getting around using the MRT was an experience very different from the LRT back home. While the latter made you wait so long you could finish reading a book, the wait for the MRT never took me longer than two minutes, and the average waiting times don't seem to exceed 10 minutes. The trains themselves were great too. The public service announcements were fully automated, and at every stop, you are reminded to mind the platform gap. You are informed of a fork in the transit’s journey a few stations beforehand, and are reminded to get off and wait for the next one that goes to your destination. Some of the train cars even indicate which station it is in, which stations it will go to and on which side will the doors open.
All that said, the road traffic light system is a total mess. It’s such a mess, you’d think your hair when you just woke up was the most orderly thing in the world. Imagine this: you’re at a crossroads, and you’ve got the green light to either turn left, go straight or turn right. But so does the bunch of people on the opposite side of traffic. This means that if you were turning right, you might have to stop in the middle of the junction of there was oncoming traffic going straight, or worse, turning right as well. Add walking pedestrians into the mix and I’m very surprised that I’ve yet to encounter a traffic accident.
There is an equally surprising upside to this though. Because of the chaos that is the traffic light systems at junctions – or it may well be another reason altogether like, maybe law enforcement – there is no jaywalking. I hesitate to say absolutely no jaywalking because I saw a pair of people doing just that yesterday, on the way back to the hotel for dinner. Save that pair, absolutely no one crossed the road, even when there were no oncoming vehicles for a good minute. Everyone waited for the green man in the box on a stick. Some sticks even tell you to speed up when you see the green man flashing and a timer shows up above his head, and don’t bother beginning to cross if you haven’t already when that happens.
Also, when you are out and about, you notice the little things that make this small country so much better than its neighbours. Half the escalators I encountered had a sticker by the side that said “keep left” which allowed those who were in a rush to overtake the slow walkers. A bit like in traffic, really, only here people actually do it naturally, without needing to be told. Or honked at. You don’t see the lovey-dovey couple blinded by their mutual infatuation that makes them think that the escalator belongs to them and they can stand wherever they very well please. Well, you do, but most eventually realize that they’re being uncourteous.
Which brings me to the dark implication about the people’s fast-paced and stressful lives. Throughout the day, and especially at night, you see properly dressed people standing around – some even squatting around – on the streets with their cigs alight. I found this to be a little disturbing, considering there are more women that do this than men. Even the women in their skirts are smoking on the streets while squatting (try getting that image into your head), instead of going to some café and have a proper seat. I was half thinking that they were whores, but when I walk past them, I overhear their conversations and most of them involve how they plan to either go on an eternal holiday or strangle their co-workers and bosses with their own intestines. It is still a disturbing sight nevertheless, to see people who are dressed up quite nicely – some of them quite obviously fairly well-to-do too – behaving like homeless people. And speaking of which, there was one camping behind the hotel I am staying at, with his cardboard mattress; a sight I never thought to see here, but I suppose I should expect this in every single country in the world.
So yes, while the collective minor differences do ultimately change the experience – though I can’t quite decide if it’s for better or worse, I find Singapore to be quite like Malaysia. If you don’t know the place, you’d think it’s paradise on earth, but when you get down there and experience it for yourself, it feels just like any other place in Southeast Asia. Just like an outsider would find Malaysians polite, locals would know that they are so only to the fair skinned and without black hair. To their fellow locals, they are about as polite as an old timer prison inmate is polite to a newcomer, i.e. the rudest, possible imbeciles you can find on the planet.
And on that bombshell, adieu to y’all.
P.S.: Sometimes, I miss my childhood innocence that allows me to be really excited whenever I go on a journey, especially if it's to a place I've never been to before. Now, while I'm able to appreciate the differences more, the experience ends up being mellowed by the similarities that I find instead.
P.S.: Sometimes, I miss my childhood innocence that allows me to be really excited whenever I go on a journey, especially if it's to a place I've never been to before. Now, while I'm able to appreciate the differences more, the experience ends up being mellowed by the similarities that I find instead.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Another pseudo-feminist bullshit flushed down the toilet
The past week has been quite good to me, considering what it is going to do to me for these two weeks. But anyway, here's another piece from work. This time, I would strongly suggest you go see the original at my work site, simply because it has images to show what I mean and I can't be bothered to look for them all over again and reupload them here. Also some shameless linkback to a previous post, but this time, it is a significant one, as you will see when you come across it. And with that, here it is.
So we recently came across this blog post on the ideal female character designs from the perspective of women.
Before I go any further, let me just say that in regards to feminism, I’m indifferent to the cause, for with every good point an actual feminist brings up, there is always someone else who is going to warp it into something either completely pointless or absolutely misandric. The same applies to this one. This is because while I support the appropriate dressing of female characters in games, sometimes the people who are pushing for it are just either missing the point or getting the completely wrong idea.
Let me just start with MMOs. One thing that I do agree with is that higher-end armors for female characters should be more concealing. It makes little sense that a full suit of leather armor provides less protection than, say, a titanium micro bikini. Of course, this is when the character you play is a fairly generic one, despite what the narration will want you to believe.
Of course, this issue is more prevalent with female characters than it is with the male ones. The rarer instances where the man is less covered up than the woman are just as ridiculous and, personally, hurts to look at. Just take Chris Redfield’s ‘Warrior’ costume in Resident Evil 5, for example.
Or his unlockable 'Sailor' outfit in Resident Evil: Revelations.
They are impractical, they don’t fit the setting and they don’t match the character. Of course, these are alternate costumes that are meant to, ahem, change the experience of the game; for better or worse, I hesitate to decide. Also, these are still fine only because they are alternate costumes, but when you have a default costume like the one we find in the upcoming Mevius Final Fantasy...
So yes, the (over)sexualization of characters in video games is not exclusively a problem for the ladies. But I digress, and I get it. The ladies don’t want to be objectified in such a sexual way and they want people to know that beauty comes in many forms, not just physical. For most of us civilized men (or women, if you are so inclined), we think the same as well; we don’t see some exposed bits of skin and immediately take leave of our senses, nor do we forget the rest of the world when we see some bits of fatty tissue jiggling about.
Despite so many people being against it, however, it continues to exist. People continue to put stuff like that in their content. Some call it fan service, and it works. I won’t get into details as to why that is so for two reasons: one, I already have and two, doing so here might offend people. The point remains; it works. The game publishers’ marketing gentlemen (or indeed ladies) in their suits keep telling the developers to put in things like this to entice people. As little sense as it may make to you, this happens. I know this from personal experience and while I’m at it, let me tell you this: nothing feels more awkward or wrong to have a lady tell you to include more scantily-clad women into your content.
But again, I digress. Back to oversexualization, and this is where I get to the missing-the-point and getting-the-wrong-idea part I mentioned earlier. The response – or remedy, to some – to this problem is simply, a different portrayal. This actually works most of the time, as simple as it sounds. In fact, what some characters need are simply a bit more cloth over their skin to make them look much better. Take some of the examples from the blog post earlier. Some, like Power Girl, Pirotess and Emma Frost, need only some more cloth added over their skins (and maybe moving some around) to make them look better than their original, without being out of place or character.
However, this sometimes leads to another problem, which begins when people don’t see that these three conditions – practicality and compatibility with settings and character – are not absolutes. You don’t have to have all three for a costume to make sense but at the same time, sometimes not having all of them wouldn’t work either.
First to be promoted on the page is Princess Peach. While it’s fine to make her stronger and more independent, it doesn’t quite fit her character since she is, after all, a princess. It’s fine to make her a little more like Princess Zelda, but completely revamping her outfit and giving her a rocket launcher totally messes with the setting and her character, as practical – and I hesitate to use the word, even on the loosest terms – as it may look.
Then we have Dragon Age’s Morrigan. Anyone who has played the game would know that if she could, she would be completely naked. Yes, it’s impractical for such an adventure, but it fits the setting and her character. SPOILER ALERT: Remember the bit near the end of the game where she threatened to burn the castle down the next time a servant offered her more concealing clothing? Obviously, the person who redesigned her doesn’t.
Next is Zero Suit Samus Aran. Yes, it’s impractical, yes it doesn’t fit her character, but it is very arguable that it fits the setting. The Zero Suit is technically an undersuit, to be worn under her Power Suit the same way F1 drivers wear a flameproof layer beneath their race suits and helmets. She was never meant to go on her missions on just her Zero Suit, but Nintendo has decided to market her that way because fans like that look. As we’ve established, publishers know sexualized characters sell, and that’s why they continue to do it.
In the end, if there is one similarity between the popular female characters in popular media, it’s that almost all of them have ‘perfect’ bodies; hourglass figure, pretty faces, well endowed and the like. While it won’t make things right, a way to possibly reduce what people perceive as the sexualization of female characters is to have more variety; more body types, some tall and some short, some with fair skin and others with darker skin. Also preferable is to have this sort of variety in leading roles, not just as supporting characters. But I wonder how that will go, considering the redesigns by the ladies over at the 'Women in Fantasy Illustration' group still have near-perfect figures.
And on that sarky bombshell, adieu to y’all.
This originally showed up here.
So we recently came across this blog post on the ideal female character designs from the perspective of women.
Before I go any further, let me just say that in regards to feminism, I’m indifferent to the cause, for with every good point an actual feminist brings up, there is always someone else who is going to warp it into something either completely pointless or absolutely misandric. The same applies to this one. This is because while I support the appropriate dressing of female characters in games, sometimes the people who are pushing for it are just either missing the point or getting the completely wrong idea.
Let me just start with MMOs. One thing that I do agree with is that higher-end armors for female characters should be more concealing. It makes little sense that a full suit of leather armor provides less protection than, say, a titanium micro bikini. Of course, this is when the character you play is a fairly generic one, despite what the narration will want you to believe.
Of course, this issue is more prevalent with female characters than it is with the male ones. The rarer instances where the man is less covered up than the woman are just as ridiculous and, personally, hurts to look at. Just take Chris Redfield’s ‘Warrior’ costume in Resident Evil 5, for example.
Or his unlockable 'Sailor' outfit in Resident Evil: Revelations.
They are impractical, they don’t fit the setting and they don’t match the character. Of course, these are alternate costumes that are meant to, ahem, change the experience of the game; for better or worse, I hesitate to decide. Also, these are still fine only because they are alternate costumes, but when you have a default costume like the one we find in the upcoming Mevius Final Fantasy...
So yes, the (over)sexualization of characters in video games is not exclusively a problem for the ladies. But I digress, and I get it. The ladies don’t want to be objectified in such a sexual way and they want people to know that beauty comes in many forms, not just physical. For most of us civilized men (or women, if you are so inclined), we think the same as well; we don’t see some exposed bits of skin and immediately take leave of our senses, nor do we forget the rest of the world when we see some bits of fatty tissue jiggling about.
Despite so many people being against it, however, it continues to exist. People continue to put stuff like that in their content. Some call it fan service, and it works. I won’t get into details as to why that is so for two reasons: one, I already have and two, doing so here might offend people. The point remains; it works. The game publishers’ marketing gentlemen (or indeed ladies) in their suits keep telling the developers to put in things like this to entice people. As little sense as it may make to you, this happens. I know this from personal experience and while I’m at it, let me tell you this: nothing feels more awkward or wrong to have a lady tell you to include more scantily-clad women into your content.
But again, I digress. Back to oversexualization, and this is where I get to the missing-the-point and getting-the-wrong-idea part I mentioned earlier. The response – or remedy, to some – to this problem is simply, a different portrayal. This actually works most of the time, as simple as it sounds. In fact, what some characters need are simply a bit more cloth over their skin to make them look much better. Take some of the examples from the blog post earlier. Some, like Power Girl, Pirotess and Emma Frost, need only some more cloth added over their skins (and maybe moving some around) to make them look better than their original, without being out of place or character.
However, this sometimes leads to another problem, which begins when people don’t see that these three conditions – practicality and compatibility with settings and character – are not absolutes. You don’t have to have all three for a costume to make sense but at the same time, sometimes not having all of them wouldn’t work either.
First to be promoted on the page is Princess Peach. While it’s fine to make her stronger and more independent, it doesn’t quite fit her character since she is, after all, a princess. It’s fine to make her a little more like Princess Zelda, but completely revamping her outfit and giving her a rocket launcher totally messes with the setting and her character, as practical – and I hesitate to use the word, even on the loosest terms – as it may look.
Then we have Dragon Age’s Morrigan. Anyone who has played the game would know that if she could, she would be completely naked. Yes, it’s impractical for such an adventure, but it fits the setting and her character. SPOILER ALERT: Remember the bit near the end of the game where she threatened to burn the castle down the next time a servant offered her more concealing clothing? Obviously, the person who redesigned her doesn’t.
Next is Zero Suit Samus Aran. Yes, it’s impractical, yes it doesn’t fit her character, but it is very arguable that it fits the setting. The Zero Suit is technically an undersuit, to be worn under her Power Suit the same way F1 drivers wear a flameproof layer beneath their race suits and helmets. She was never meant to go on her missions on just her Zero Suit, but Nintendo has decided to market her that way because fans like that look. As we’ve established, publishers know sexualized characters sell, and that’s why they continue to do it.
In the end, if there is one similarity between the popular female characters in popular media, it’s that almost all of them have ‘perfect’ bodies; hourglass figure, pretty faces, well endowed and the like. While it won’t make things right, a way to possibly reduce what people perceive as the sexualization of female characters is to have more variety; more body types, some tall and some short, some with fair skin and others with darker skin. Also preferable is to have this sort of variety in leading roles, not just as supporting characters. But I wonder how that will go, considering the redesigns by the ladies over at the 'Women in Fantasy Illustration' group still have near-perfect figures.
And on that sarky bombshell, adieu to y’all.
This originally showed up here.
Why ads are the terrorists of the Internet
Again, a piece I wrote for work. This will include a shameless linkback to a previous post that I've written, as well as a link to my work site. Again, for your convenience. And with that, here it is.
Over a month ago, I talked about the hacking streak we've been seeing in recent times, and how as much as hackers are the bane of the Internet, we need them to keep the Internet in check. I also talked a little about how we can avoid being part of this whole hacking drama and just watch as it unfolds.
Then came reports of a government agency producing spyware that can embed itself into your computer parts’ firmware, making them undetectable and unremovable. And as a result of that, I’m not sure if all the preventive measures I’ve stated start to make more sense than ever or have just been rendered pointless.
But for now, I’m going to be a narcissist and assume the former, and talk about something else that needs to go away for us all to feel and actually be a lot safer when we explore the wilderness that is the Internet: pop-up ads.
Before we talk specifically about pop-up ads, let’s first talk about ads in general. Now, let me be the first to admit that ads leave me somewhere between indifferent and indignant. I’ve yet to come across one that was actually useful, whether it be helping me discover something new, or convince me to change my stance about anything. Or whatever else ads are supposed to do. Chances are, you haven’t either. Some of us find it so annoying that we install ad blockers onto our web browsers. The rest would come to accept the fact that ads are a way – sometimes the only way – certain pages make money, so we tolerate it and take the annoyance as a price to pay for getting access to content in lieu of money.
And I get it. I get that sometimes ads are there to try to get you interested in whatever is being advertised. I also get that the pages need some form of compensation for their work, and ads are always there to play that part. But what really gets my blood boiling – and making me hate all the other innocent ads in the process – are pop-up ads and by extension, fake ads.
Pop-up and fake ads were, as far as I’m aware, exclusive to the darkest parts of the Internet; like porn, cult and torrent sites, where the things you can find there are questionable in the first place. Of course, when you dare to trek such parts of the Internet, you should be prepared to deal with such things and know how to avoid falling victim to them. This is especially true of fake ads, which will, say, disguise itself as a cluster of download buttons, obscuring the actual one that will give you what you were looking for.
These get my blood boiling – as I’m sure they would yours – simply because they are intrusive, fake and, more often than not, ridden with malware. Accidentally clicking on a pop-up ad or fake download button and you can be sure to spend the next few hours running antivirus scans or restoring your system to a state a few hours before you got played into downloading the malware.
And yet this is still fine, since such are the risks of trekking into the dark parts of the Internet. It stops being okay when these intrusive pop-ups and false ads start showing up in relatively mainstream sites. These are especially annoying on mobile devices because the fake ones take up space that should be reserved for content, and the pop-ups take over your page entirely; there is usually no clear close button to press, and if you press back instead, you go to the page before the one with the blasted pop-up.
I remember while I was reviewing the Xiaomi Mi Pad, I was greeted with the fairly common pop-up that tells me that my WhatsApp needs an update, while I was reading an article that a link was shared on Facebook. This is both hilarious and enraging, simply because I had not installed WhatsApp on the Mi Pad. While there are many versions of this, there are some where, short of closing your browser or spamming the ‘Back’ button at a rate of infinite presses per second, the pop-up endlessly loops and refreshes itself until suddenly your device is forced to download some suspicious .apk file which, by this point you wonder if it’s already too late and should toss your device at the face of the next person you suspect to be a criminal.
Just as how the people behind legitimate ads pay to get you to see what is being advertised, the low-lives behind false and intrusive ads pay to acquire your private information, which can be sold for even more money. We citizens of the Internet know this. Some take what legitimate advertisers consider the extreme step of installing ad blockers. Granted, most who do, do it simply because they are annoyed by ads, few for genuine safety concerns. Either way, legitimate advertisers should help the rest of the Internet to get rid of the plague that is malware-ridden ads. Otherwise, I have a feeling that the day will come when people will indiscriminately blame ads for the rise of hacking and security breaching incidents. I know I would.
And on that bombshell, adieu to y’all.
P.S.: On a lighter note, the creator of pop-up ads at the very least has apologized last year for the monstrosity he created, and the state of the Internet that is so reliant on ads. In the unlikely event that you see him while walking down the street, all I ask is that you control your rage if you must express it.
This originally showed up here.
Over a month ago, I talked about the hacking streak we've been seeing in recent times, and how as much as hackers are the bane of the Internet, we need them to keep the Internet in check. I also talked a little about how we can avoid being part of this whole hacking drama and just watch as it unfolds.
Then came reports of a government agency producing spyware that can embed itself into your computer parts’ firmware, making them undetectable and unremovable. And as a result of that, I’m not sure if all the preventive measures I’ve stated start to make more sense than ever or have just been rendered pointless.
But for now, I’m going to be a narcissist and assume the former, and talk about something else that needs to go away for us all to feel and actually be a lot safer when we explore the wilderness that is the Internet: pop-up ads.
Before we talk specifically about pop-up ads, let’s first talk about ads in general. Now, let me be the first to admit that ads leave me somewhere between indifferent and indignant. I’ve yet to come across one that was actually useful, whether it be helping me discover something new, or convince me to change my stance about anything. Or whatever else ads are supposed to do. Chances are, you haven’t either. Some of us find it so annoying that we install ad blockers onto our web browsers. The rest would come to accept the fact that ads are a way – sometimes the only way – certain pages make money, so we tolerate it and take the annoyance as a price to pay for getting access to content in lieu of money.
And I get it. I get that sometimes ads are there to try to get you interested in whatever is being advertised. I also get that the pages need some form of compensation for their work, and ads are always there to play that part. But what really gets my blood boiling – and making me hate all the other innocent ads in the process – are pop-up ads and by extension, fake ads.
Pop-up and fake ads were, as far as I’m aware, exclusive to the darkest parts of the Internet; like porn, cult and torrent sites, where the things you can find there are questionable in the first place. Of course, when you dare to trek such parts of the Internet, you should be prepared to deal with such things and know how to avoid falling victim to them. This is especially true of fake ads, which will, say, disguise itself as a cluster of download buttons, obscuring the actual one that will give you what you were looking for.
These get my blood boiling – as I’m sure they would yours – simply because they are intrusive, fake and, more often than not, ridden with malware. Accidentally clicking on a pop-up ad or fake download button and you can be sure to spend the next few hours running antivirus scans or restoring your system to a state a few hours before you got played into downloading the malware.
And yet this is still fine, since such are the risks of trekking into the dark parts of the Internet. It stops being okay when these intrusive pop-ups and false ads start showing up in relatively mainstream sites. These are especially annoying on mobile devices because the fake ones take up space that should be reserved for content, and the pop-ups take over your page entirely; there is usually no clear close button to press, and if you press back instead, you go to the page before the one with the blasted pop-up.
I remember while I was reviewing the Xiaomi Mi Pad, I was greeted with the fairly common pop-up that tells me that my WhatsApp needs an update, while I was reading an article that a link was shared on Facebook. This is both hilarious and enraging, simply because I had not installed WhatsApp on the Mi Pad. While there are many versions of this, there are some where, short of closing your browser or spamming the ‘Back’ button at a rate of infinite presses per second, the pop-up endlessly loops and refreshes itself until suddenly your device is forced to download some suspicious .apk file which, by this point you wonder if it’s already too late and should toss your device at the face of the next person you suspect to be a criminal.
Just as how the people behind legitimate ads pay to get you to see what is being advertised, the low-lives behind false and intrusive ads pay to acquire your private information, which can be sold for even more money. We citizens of the Internet know this. Some take what legitimate advertisers consider the extreme step of installing ad blockers. Granted, most who do, do it simply because they are annoyed by ads, few for genuine safety concerns. Either way, legitimate advertisers should help the rest of the Internet to get rid of the plague that is malware-ridden ads. Otherwise, I have a feeling that the day will come when people will indiscriminately blame ads for the rise of hacking and security breaching incidents. I know I would.
And on that bombshell, adieu to y’all.
P.S.: On a lighter note, the creator of pop-up ads at the very least has apologized last year for the monstrosity he created, and the state of the Internet that is so reliant on ads. In the unlikely event that you see him while walking down the street, all I ask is that you control your rage if you must express it.
This originally showed up here.
Friday, February 20, 2015
The Year Beast Within
For decades I've thought of the year beast,
Ferocious and savage, yet timid and weak,
As spring is bestowed upon the east,
This mythical creature I now seek.
This year is the turn of the goat,
Cycling through the wheel of twelve,
Auspices again this year would connote,
Fortunes in which we endlessly delve.
As people continue to draw in luck,
Using colours to repel the puck,
I decide instead to change my fate,
My own blessings I will create.
I'll now embody the dreaded beast,
May my ferocity be unleashed,
With no weaknesses but one,
Save one repellent, hindered by none.
To all others, may you know wealth,
Limitless fortune and peerless health,
May you enjoy this brand new year,
With futures bright and clear.
Ferocious and savage, yet timid and weak,
As spring is bestowed upon the east,
This mythical creature I now seek.
This year is the turn of the goat,
Cycling through the wheel of twelve,
Auspices again this year would connote,
Fortunes in which we endlessly delve.
As people continue to draw in luck,
Using colours to repel the puck,
I decide instead to change my fate,
My own blessings I will create.
I'll now embody the dreaded beast,
May my ferocity be unleashed,
With no weaknesses but one,
Save one repellent, hindered by none.
To all others, may you know wealth,
Limitless fortune and peerless health,
May you enjoy this brand new year,
With futures bright and clear.
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Spreading Clipped Wings
Again I step on foreign lands,
Treading on these alien sands,
My thoughts are with my task at hand,
Yet my heart's pulled back home like a rubber band.
Other obligations in my mind,
Perhaps I will see what I intend to find,
As I walk with unknown faces,
Through equally unknown places.
Perhaps the foreign winds will set me free,
From my mind's hollow, dreadful spree,
May I be able to clearly see,
The end of the path that lies before me.
Treading on these alien sands,
My thoughts are with my task at hand,
Yet my heart's pulled back home like a rubber band.
Other obligations in my mind,
Perhaps I will see what I intend to find,
As I walk with unknown faces,
Through equally unknown places.
Perhaps the foreign winds will set me free,
From my mind's hollow, dreadful spree,
May I be able to clearly see,
The end of the path that lies before me.
Monday, February 9, 2015
Reawakening the Dormant Devil
When I thought I could live alone,
Cold to the core and solid to the bone,
I find myself weak and vulnerable,
And everything else insufferable.
But it is in this weakness that I know,
It is my strength that must grow,
For alone I live and die,
On no one I can rely.
Though it was solitude which I sought,
Loneliness was what I gained,
For so long and for nothing I have fought,
For nothing I'm now completely drained.
My little star lost behind the clouds,
My heart and soul lost behind unknown crowds,
Again in despair I sink,
Only hopelessness for me to drink.
But the world moves on, and so will I,
No time to mope and no time to cry,
I'll press on alone as I've always done,
Till my heart and I are finally one.
Cold to the core and solid to the bone,
I find myself weak and vulnerable,
And everything else insufferable.
But it is in this weakness that I know,
It is my strength that must grow,
For alone I live and die,
On no one I can rely.
Though it was solitude which I sought,
Loneliness was what I gained,
For so long and for nothing I have fought,
For nothing I'm now completely drained.
My little star lost behind the clouds,
My heart and soul lost behind unknown crowds,
Again in despair I sink,
Only hopelessness for me to drink.
But the world moves on, and so will I,
No time to mope and no time to cry,
I'll press on alone as I've always done,
Till my heart and I are finally one.
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Electronic Sports in Malaysia: as slow as our Internet connection
Another piece from work. This time I decided to just leave all the links in and remove the images; it is so much easier for me to just copy and paste the HTML code, but because Blogger keeps bugging out on the images and I can't be bothered to put them in a second time, they're out. They don't belong here in my fortress of text anyway. With that out of the way, here it is.
So e-sports is finally taking off in Malaysia.
With the launch of e-Sports Malaysia in late January, as well as the Selangor Cyber Games held in mid-December last year, it would seem that Malaysia as a whole is finally taking e-sports seriously. The latter being the first tourney event co-organized by a state government, and the former a registered body under the Sports Commission of Malaysia and the governing body of e-sports in the country. It would seem that, finally, pro gamers will be officially recognized as athletes, and be given the sort of respect and treatment befitting of our country’s representatives.
Now that we have a governing organization for e-sports that is registered under the Sports Commission, maybe we can finally kill the perception that games are a waste of life, and that gamers are wasting their lives away with a pointless pastime. Kids will finally be scolded for not turning on their PlayStations. Okay, maybe that’s being too optimistic, but still, the thought of the day where we will finally stop getting the condescending looks from the Gen X folks for a hobby drawing close is an exciting one. With that said, I couldn’t help but wonder: would our gaming scene have been better if this happened sooner?
The gaming scene is a global one. It may have started in South Korea, but as it spreads throughout the world, it became a movement on its own that waits for no one. To be a part of it, competitive gamers have to keep up with it, even if their local movement is trailing behind. While this may not be generally true for every competitive title, it quite certainly is for Dota 2 players. Arrow Gaming, the Malaysian team that was caught in a match-fixing scandal probably wouldn’t have gotten involved in it if eSM existed sooner. I think so for two reasons: first, is the fact that the players are underpaid, or so claim the two players “Lance” and “DDZ” at least. The second is the subpar treatment Arrow gamers are getting from their team management.
eSM has said that one of their Key Strategic Areas is the welfare of gamers, and had they existed sooner, perhaps the welfare of Arrow’s players would’ve been better taken care of, and the whole incident would've never happened. I should emphasize the word ‘perhaps’ because, as with anything else, nothing can be said for certain. But at least the existence of an e-sports governing body will reduce the likelihood of it occurring.
Back to the global e-sports movement. In an interview with Mushi during the Selangor Cyber Games in December last year, he has mentioned that he definitely wouldn’t be remaining in Malaysia as a professional gamer. His reason behind the decision is that overseas, the potential for progress as a professional gamer is much greater, and that the gaming scene locally just isn’t happening enough. Government support may be a good start, but it takes everyone’s involvement to help elevate the movement here.
This isn’t directly related to eSM per se, but when you think about it, there is an important relationship to be found. Going against the tide that is the stigmatization of video gamers is an immense undertaking. Close to impossible, even, especially when done as individuals or sparse groups of people. With the involvement of a governing body registered under the Sports Commission, however, things couldn’t be easier. It gives a banner for all gamers to unite under, and there is now a framework for people to follow in debunking the myth of a life wasted by playing video games. It is easier to withstand the unstoppable force that is the Gen X perception of video games when we have an immovable object to provide shelter, and eSM is that object we so desperately need.
But because eSM came to being now instead of earlier, local talent like Mushi and ChuaN – among many, many others – are playing for teams in China instead of our local teams. Now, we face the problem that is the gaming world’s equivalent of brain drain. As I mentioned, the gaming scene is like any other: a movement that waits for no one. Mushi and others like him have managed to keep up with the movement; to keep up with the times, as the rest of the country trails behind them. Now that we are picking up the pace, can we do so fast enough to catch up our players of international-level talent, so that they will represent a team that carries our flag? Can we, the local community, do enough to catch up to them, and convince them to play for Malaysia, now that we have the eSM to rally behind?
As a fellow gamer, I was never good enough to play many of the competitive titles on those levels. The only games I was good enough at to be competitive at are the Tekken series, excluding the -Tag games, which seems to be a niche title here. As such, I have given up my hopes of making a living out of it. For me, the eSM was too little, too late; the promises of an e-Sports Academy and the countering of a deeply rooted social stigma that the eSM provides would’ve been an option for me, if I hadn’t already finished my tertiary studies and found myself a job writing this rant. But for the younger gamers whose future have not been set in cement; for those fresh out of secondary school and SPM, the eSM is the best thing that could ever happen to them. It could’ve been the best thing that could ever happen to me, but thanks to its timing, it is the worst thing to happen to me, as I wallow in rage and envy, watching the younger generation make a living out of their hobby.
And on that bombshell, adieu to y’all.
This originally showed up here.
So e-sports is finally taking off in Malaysia.
With the launch of e-Sports Malaysia in late January, as well as the Selangor Cyber Games held in mid-December last year, it would seem that Malaysia as a whole is finally taking e-sports seriously. The latter being the first tourney event co-organized by a state government, and the former a registered body under the Sports Commission of Malaysia and the governing body of e-sports in the country. It would seem that, finally, pro gamers will be officially recognized as athletes, and be given the sort of respect and treatment befitting of our country’s representatives.
Now that we have a governing organization for e-sports that is registered under the Sports Commission, maybe we can finally kill the perception that games are a waste of life, and that gamers are wasting their lives away with a pointless pastime. Kids will finally be scolded for not turning on their PlayStations. Okay, maybe that’s being too optimistic, but still, the thought of the day where we will finally stop getting the condescending looks from the Gen X folks for a hobby drawing close is an exciting one. With that said, I couldn’t help but wonder: would our gaming scene have been better if this happened sooner?
The gaming scene is a global one. It may have started in South Korea, but as it spreads throughout the world, it became a movement on its own that waits for no one. To be a part of it, competitive gamers have to keep up with it, even if their local movement is trailing behind. While this may not be generally true for every competitive title, it quite certainly is for Dota 2 players. Arrow Gaming, the Malaysian team that was caught in a match-fixing scandal probably wouldn’t have gotten involved in it if eSM existed sooner. I think so for two reasons: first, is the fact that the players are underpaid, or so claim the two players “Lance” and “DDZ” at least. The second is the subpar treatment Arrow gamers are getting from their team management.
eSM has said that one of their Key Strategic Areas is the welfare of gamers, and had they existed sooner, perhaps the welfare of Arrow’s players would’ve been better taken care of, and the whole incident would've never happened. I should emphasize the word ‘perhaps’ because, as with anything else, nothing can be said for certain. But at least the existence of an e-sports governing body will reduce the likelihood of it occurring.
Back to the global e-sports movement. In an interview with Mushi during the Selangor Cyber Games in December last year, he has mentioned that he definitely wouldn’t be remaining in Malaysia as a professional gamer. His reason behind the decision is that overseas, the potential for progress as a professional gamer is much greater, and that the gaming scene locally just isn’t happening enough. Government support may be a good start, but it takes everyone’s involvement to help elevate the movement here.
This isn’t directly related to eSM per se, but when you think about it, there is an important relationship to be found. Going against the tide that is the stigmatization of video gamers is an immense undertaking. Close to impossible, even, especially when done as individuals or sparse groups of people. With the involvement of a governing body registered under the Sports Commission, however, things couldn’t be easier. It gives a banner for all gamers to unite under, and there is now a framework for people to follow in debunking the myth of a life wasted by playing video games. It is easier to withstand the unstoppable force that is the Gen X perception of video games when we have an immovable object to provide shelter, and eSM is that object we so desperately need.
But because eSM came to being now instead of earlier, local talent like Mushi and ChuaN – among many, many others – are playing for teams in China instead of our local teams. Now, we face the problem that is the gaming world’s equivalent of brain drain. As I mentioned, the gaming scene is like any other: a movement that waits for no one. Mushi and others like him have managed to keep up with the movement; to keep up with the times, as the rest of the country trails behind them. Now that we are picking up the pace, can we do so fast enough to catch up our players of international-level talent, so that they will represent a team that carries our flag? Can we, the local community, do enough to catch up to them, and convince them to play for Malaysia, now that we have the eSM to rally behind?
As a fellow gamer, I was never good enough to play many of the competitive titles on those levels. The only games I was good enough at to be competitive at are the Tekken series, excluding the -Tag games, which seems to be a niche title here. As such, I have given up my hopes of making a living out of it. For me, the eSM was too little, too late; the promises of an e-Sports Academy and the countering of a deeply rooted social stigma that the eSM provides would’ve been an option for me, if I hadn’t already finished my tertiary studies and found myself a job writing this rant. But for the younger gamers whose future have not been set in cement; for those fresh out of secondary school and SPM, the eSM is the best thing that could ever happen to them. It could’ve been the best thing that could ever happen to me, but thanks to its timing, it is the worst thing to happen to me, as I wallow in rage and envy, watching the younger generation make a living out of their hobby.
And on that bombshell, adieu to y’all.
This originally showed up here.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Hackers and the Internet
This is another piece I wrote for work. This one will be a little different from what I usually do, since contains a video and several links, most of which leads to articles on the site I work for. This is because taking a look at them is necessary to understand what I'm on about, and saves you the trouble of having to Google them yourself. With that, here it it.
With the recent hacking streak that is going on on our beloved Internet, it feels like as good a time as any to talk about hackers and hacktivism. Even more so with the recent Sony Pictures affair, as it sort of brings out both the greatest and the worst from these individuals or groups.
Hackers have been around for as long as the technological sense of security has. Since the Edward Snowden whistleblowing episode, they have been euphemistically referred to as security researchers. Even so, the euphemism may in fact contain more truth than intended. After all, it takes one who is knowledgeable in the field of cybersecurity to be a hacker.
I’ve come across this TED talk sometime late last year by a cybersecurity expert and self-professed hacker Keren Elazari, and I would like to echo what she has said. As much as the current hacking streak by GOP and the Lizard Squad has made the world feeling nauseous when we hear the word, it is what the Internet needs, and is not something we can do without. Ms. Elazari calls hackers the immune system of the information age, and I agree. Another way of seeing it is as a very aggressive form of customer feedback on the security end of things.
Think of Facebook, or any social networking platform. There might be things there that you want everyone to know, and some others that you don’t. Assuming you haven’t taken complete leave of your senses, it takes a hacker to expose what you intended to keep private, but it also takes a hacker to stop it from happening.
Back to the recent Sony Pictures affair. Personally, I found the whole thing to be absolutely hilarious, but I understand if anyone disagrees with me. I do not deny that the whole situation is unsightly, especially for those who are directly involved, but it happened because the victims weren’t taking Internet security seriously enough, and it needed to happen so that they do. Evidence to that is Anonymous’ tweet on the matter.
This will sound like victim blaming, and maybe it really is. But the point stands; when things like this happen despite being warned that it can happen, the only reasonable conclusion is that it was allowed to happen, intentionally or otherwise being quite beside the point.
At this point, I hope that you’ve listened to the TED talk I mentioned, because Ms. Elazari has elaborated on these points, and more, with really great examples. Also, one thing you will be able to infer from the talk is a phrase which I’m sure you’ve heard from one medium or another: Knowledge
is power. And in the age of information, this couldn’t be any truer.
Knowledge on the Internet is like money in real life. In fact, the right kind of knowledge can bring you money. That’s why data security is all the rage right now; trying to stop people from getting the kind of information that will get them money while making others lose money, and then some.
Of course, this is inevitable; hackers will continue to exist as long as computers and the Internet do, and no one can control what a hacker does with his or her discovery. Should they decide to be nice about their discovery, then the world learns of an exploitable loophole somewhere and works towards fixing it the easy way. Should the hacker choose the path of GOP and the Lizard Squad, then the world learns the hard way. Some may offer bug bounties, but nothing is stopping some hackers from doing it for the giggles, as some might claim to do.
Despite which way the world learns, if the people responsible for security take it seriously, then we are all better off. As for us nondescript users of the Internet, we can also avoid being collateral damage by taking a few simple steps. Not using passwords that are too simple is one which so many people fail to do that it beggars belief. There are some tools like biometric scanners – the likes of fingerprint scanners and retinal scanners – and the really complicated tools like this prototype smart keyboard, but personally I find these to be excessive, and may lock you out of your own data, for instance when you got a cut on your registered finger, or when your typing behavior changes over time. And of course, be mindful of what you put up in the Internet.
To sum everything up, hackers are here to stay. They will continue to expose the chinks in the Internet’s armor until the end of time or until all the weaknesses have been sealed, whichever comes first. There is nothing we can do about this short of denouncing technology entirely, which will also never happen. All we can do about it is take precautionary steps to not end up being collateral damage, and just watch the drama as it ensues.
And on that insensitive bombshell, adieu to y’all.
This originally showed up here.
With the recent hacking streak that is going on on our beloved Internet, it feels like as good a time as any to talk about hackers and hacktivism. Even more so with the recent Sony Pictures affair, as it sort of brings out both the greatest and the worst from these individuals or groups.
Hackers have been around for as long as the technological sense of security has. Since the Edward Snowden whistleblowing episode, they have been euphemistically referred to as security researchers. Even so, the euphemism may in fact contain more truth than intended. After all, it takes one who is knowledgeable in the field of cybersecurity to be a hacker.
I’ve come across this TED talk sometime late last year by a cybersecurity expert and self-professed hacker Keren Elazari, and I would like to echo what she has said. As much as the current hacking streak by GOP and the Lizard Squad has made the world feeling nauseous when we hear the word, it is what the Internet needs, and is not something we can do without. Ms. Elazari calls hackers the immune system of the information age, and I agree. Another way of seeing it is as a very aggressive form of customer feedback on the security end of things.
Think of Facebook, or any social networking platform. There might be things there that you want everyone to know, and some others that you don’t. Assuming you haven’t taken complete leave of your senses, it takes a hacker to expose what you intended to keep private, but it also takes a hacker to stop it from happening.
Back to the recent Sony Pictures affair. Personally, I found the whole thing to be absolutely hilarious, but I understand if anyone disagrees with me. I do not deny that the whole situation is unsightly, especially for those who are directly involved, but it happened because the victims weren’t taking Internet security seriously enough, and it needed to happen so that they do. Evidence to that is Anonymous’ tweet on the matter.
This will sound like victim blaming, and maybe it really is. But the point stands; when things like this happen despite being warned that it can happen, the only reasonable conclusion is that it was allowed to happen, intentionally or otherwise being quite beside the point.
At this point, I hope that you’ve listened to the TED talk I mentioned, because Ms. Elazari has elaborated on these points, and more, with really great examples. Also, one thing you will be able to infer from the talk is a phrase which I’m sure you’ve heard from one medium or another: Knowledge
is power. And in the age of information, this couldn’t be any truer.
Knowledge on the Internet is like money in real life. In fact, the right kind of knowledge can bring you money. That’s why data security is all the rage right now; trying to stop people from getting the kind of information that will get them money while making others lose money, and then some.
Of course, this is inevitable; hackers will continue to exist as long as computers and the Internet do, and no one can control what a hacker does with his or her discovery. Should they decide to be nice about their discovery, then the world learns of an exploitable loophole somewhere and works towards fixing it the easy way. Should the hacker choose the path of GOP and the Lizard Squad, then the world learns the hard way. Some may offer bug bounties, but nothing is stopping some hackers from doing it for the giggles, as some might claim to do.
Despite which way the world learns, if the people responsible for security take it seriously, then we are all better off. As for us nondescript users of the Internet, we can also avoid being collateral damage by taking a few simple steps. Not using passwords that are too simple is one which so many people fail to do that it beggars belief. There are some tools like biometric scanners – the likes of fingerprint scanners and retinal scanners – and the really complicated tools like this prototype smart keyboard, but personally I find these to be excessive, and may lock you out of your own data, for instance when you got a cut on your registered finger, or when your typing behavior changes over time. And of course, be mindful of what you put up in the Internet.
To sum everything up, hackers are here to stay. They will continue to expose the chinks in the Internet’s armor until the end of time or until all the weaknesses have been sealed, whichever comes first. There is nothing we can do about this short of denouncing technology entirely, which will also never happen. All we can do about it is take precautionary steps to not end up being collateral damage, and just watch the drama as it ensues.
And on that insensitive bombshell, adieu to y’all.
This originally showed up here.
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