Gundam Warrior Reborn

Is the reason you see a two-month gap. And I refuse to call it Dynasty Warrior Gundam Reborn because that’s how you wrongly translate the name. Granted, Reborn is also translated wrongly, but since 無双 means warrior, and there is no ‘Dynasty’ in 真・ガンダム無双, I would just call it the way I do, regretting that Tecmo Koei failed on the magnificent wordplay on ‘Shin’, which could also mean ‘new’, hence Reborn.

And the fact that I’ve forgotten some of the movies I’ve watched over the months. A few memorable ones remain in my memory banks, but I have nothing much to say about them anyway.

We start with How to Train Your Dragon 2. It’s good, with an acceptable story, relatively strong finale, but I can’t bring myself to like it for two reasons: first, which is a reason shared with the first movie, is that because I was introduced to Monster Hunter before this, I can’t help but think that the dragons, including the giant in the first and the alphas in the second, were weaker than the weakest Wyverns of the MonHun universe. I especially can’t help but see Toothless as a tamer version of the Nargacuga. The second reason is because Toothless blatantly rips off Godzilla. How? By glowing spines that start from the tail, which leads to more powerful fire breaths.

Then there’s Maleficent. Which is nice, but much less than what I expected. The famed most powerful villain of the Disney world was so…soft, to say the least. In fact, her one act of cruelty was the curse on Aurora. The rest of the movie was showing how she is completely doubtful of the whole thing, her kindness to the one she cursed, and, in my mind, her not killing her crow sidekick for talking back to her the way he did. Then there’s the sentient pair of wings. The last thing that I found to be so disturbing was PlatinumSukamon, so that’s saying something.

For comedy we have A Million Ways to Die in the West. Screw all the naysayers because this is one of the best comedies of the decade for now. One that spits in the face of political correctness and historical accuracy to bring a movie that will make you laugh out loud in the cinema like a mental case, while making you cringe with its comedic cheesiness. Mind you, cheesy stuff are always cringe-worthy, and cringe-worthy things are rarely good, but when it is this funny, it makes it into the list of exceptions. A lot of modern day gag references, a lot of historical gags, and quite appropriately, a cheesy happy ending to make sure you stay laughing like a maniac when you leave.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was good if you watched Rise. If you didn’t, it’s still good, though viewers might be confused with the intelligent apes, the society and why Caesar was leader and why Koba was such a piece of shit. Though as someone who was watched Rise, I would have imagined that they could speak coherently by now instead of still using sign language primarily, and grunting a word or two of English. And that grim ending. I understand why people are saying this is going to be a trilogy with the last movie being a Planet of the Apes reboot.

Of course, there’s the new Transformers movie. And I must say, for the first time ever, I nearly fell asleep while watching a movie in a cinema. During an action sequence no less. That, I think, is enough said about how bad this one was.

There’s the new Hercules movie starring Dwayne Johnson, which is great, especially when compared to last year’s gutter fillings with the same name. Although, like most Hercules movies, this is another missed opportunity. I maintain that no Hercules movie will ever be better than one which tells the story of the 12 Labours. That said, this interpretation of the legend is a very good one. Not the first with this approach, but does not disappoint. This Hercules is a mortal. He isn’t the son of Zeus, and his 12 Labours were not as impossible as legend had described them. And I believe this movie has the best message cum moral ever: Legends are interpretations of fact with insufficient information. Take the hydra. For every head cut off, two takes its place. But this is because the hydra is in fact tribesmen/assassins who operate in the lake of an extremely foggy forest. People report seeing multi-headed serpents because all they saw in the fog was the monster mask/helmet they wore, and without seeing the body, people imagined them to be whatever their imagination sees fit. And with that, spreads legends. And lies. Centaurs were merely the silhouettes of people on horseback but no one saw the head of the horse because of the angle of which they were seen; they were up hills, in between the glaring sun and the poor blinded witness. As such, this movie tells us to verify to the best of our extents whatever rumours we hear before believing them. Also, with the appropriate legend a.k.a. lie, it can boost ally morale while breaking enemy morale. And lastly, tell a lie often enough and you may actually believe it yourself. As mentioned, this Hercules is a mortal. Extremely strong, but still a mortal. During the final act of the story, in a situation dire enough, an ally convinces him that he is, in fact a hero and the son of Zeus, which boosts his morale to the extent of amplifying this already impressive strength to superhuman levels. TL;DR, lies are powerful tools, which can be used and misused like any other.

Since I’ve mentioned Maleficent, I’m inclined to admit something this movie and Oculus has made me realize. I realize that I found the young Aurora, as well as young Kaylie Russell, to be more attractive than their adult counterparts. These two movies have since then left me casting doubt about myself and I end up suspecting that I might in fact be a pedophile.

And on that bombshell, adieu to y’all.