When the Devil Danced Alone - An Alluringly Beautiful Dedication

Life Has Been Hard For Me Recently, For The Past 2 Months. But When I Was On The Brink Of Death, Something Saved Me. Someone, Rather.

And So This Is No Tribute, But A Dedication, To A Non-Existent Person Who Has Been In My Memory For 8 Years, But Has Only Very Recently Been My Life-Support. One Who Played An Active Role In My Solitary Fantasy, Keeping Me Sane And Those Around Me Safe From Any Harm That I Might Have Caused. And If You Have Read My Previous Work, This Can Also Be Regarded As A Sequel, Though Not Intended, To 'When the Angel Waltzed With the Devil'.

Inspired From 2 Songs From Gundam Seed And Seed Destiny, 暁の車（Akatsuki no Kuruma i.e. Dawn's Carriage) And 焔の扉(Honoo no Tobira i.e. Door of Flames) Respectively, Both By FictionJunction YUUKA, This Is My Dedication To Cagalli Yula Athha, Another Alluringly Beautiful Maiden Born Of The Brilliant Imagination Of Another That I Have Taken Into My Mind, My Own World, To Save Me From My Ultimate Enemy, That Is The Brutal Reality That IMD!!! Lives In.

Sacred ashes I stride across,
Hoping someday our paths will cross,
Somewhere without memories of our loss,
Instead, covered with gentle, growing moss.

With bare hands I open this flaming gate,
To cleanse this tainted, darkened fate,
To regret now is already too late,
But at least others are spared from my hate.

Purged clean into a brand new dawn,
A brand new horizon being drawn,
A new world with corruption withdrawn,
And its kind never to re-spawn.

If only I could cry in this shade,
And just let all this grief fade,
Then I need not put up this charade,
And there'd be no need for this serenade.

With the evening's passing calm,
I hold on to memories bittersweet,
With this token of water in my palm,
I set them free while I make my retreat.

I hope to never again see the day,
When balance is swept away,
When flowers wilt with a sickly grey,
When the world is filled with death and decay,
When the Sun loses its shining ray,
When I have only myself to flay,
Because of my heart's frantic play,
For I know,
This is an excessive price to pay.

As I open the door of daybreak,
And hope this new tomorrow,
Will be free from the same mistake,
I see a pure white unstained by sorrow,
Orange petals stirred a summer shadow,
Blooming from the seeds of eternal hope,
Into a beautiful kaleidoscope.

The rhythm of farewell I shall strum,
To the tiny twinkle that has become,
A beacon of hope from the dark twilight,
Where people can hold hands and unite,
As sorrow turns into silence,
May it grant empowering resilience.

I Have Truly Outdone Myself. In The The Face Of Death I Have Laughed, In The Realm Of Despair I Have Thrived, And In The Hands Of Torment I Have Survived. My Imagination Being The Only Reason I Have Not Lost My Mind, It May Also Be The Main Cause If I Ever Lost It.

Adieu To Y'all. Until The Ashes Of This Phoenix Rises Again.

Warning In Awakening

Chaos brews while I observe,
Perpetrators elude what they deserve,
Though we were hurt, we can still forgive,
But this situation,
How will the rest of the world perceive?

But what's past is past and what's done is done,
Better to face it than to run,
And I hope from now you'll do as I do,
To observe from the sides and see it through.

In saying all that,
I hope from this you have learned,
To recognize your true foe in turn,
If you have not, then forgive me,
For there's more of this that I should see.

I never knew the extent of this mess,
And my greatest regret I'd express,
But to accept who the culprit was,
It might take more than just because.

For words alone are this one's tool,
To manipulate and to fool,
To cast off all others for this one's goal,
To trust this one will bring a heavy toll.

To gain your trust, all else were cast down,
All so that this one would wear your crown,
In order to bring you this joy,
Your true cohorts were cast away like toys.

I hope that you've sufficient discretion,
To see through this false impression,
To free yourself from the possession,
Of the perpetrator in question.

Uncovered for you, the wolf in sheep's skin,
Along with the tainted blight within,
In saving yourself, you save all,
From what would be an eternal fall.

Another Break From Immortality

Though I Really Shouldn't Be Doing This Right Now When I Still Have Tonnes Of Work Pilling Up, But What-The-Heck-Ever Man.

First Off,
Congratulations To Si Panjang Of 19 a.k.a. Shangee For Winning The Memory Competition AGAIN! Damn, This Is Like Some Sort Of Fixed Income For You Every Year. When Are We, The Entire 19 Gang, Gonna Raid The Mind Festival In Formal Suits Again? Hahahaha. We Really Should. But Anyway, I Welcome Y'all Again To Kampar In Advance. Seriously, I'll Be Waiting To See You Win Again Next Year.

Secondly,
I Noticed As Many As I've Seen Turtledoves In Kampar, There Are A Relatively Large Number Of Magpies As Well. Looking At Them Up Close, You Wouldn't Believe That They're From The Crow Family. Because They Just Look So Different. The Shape Of The Head And Tail Would Tell You That Much.

Well, To Date I've Been Depressed For The 2nd Consecutive Month. Maybe I Can Now Go To The Nearest Hospital And Tell A Psychiatrist That I Have Extreme Suicidal Tendencies. Then Maybe He Or She'd Write Me A Letter To Certify That I'm Depressed Enough To Be Considered Mentally Ill. Then I Can Go On A Mad Rampage And Kill Whoever Gets In My Way, AND Get Away With It. Isn't That Just The Most Awesome Idea? I Know You Wouldn't Think So. But I DO! And There's No Changing It, Sorry To Say.

Well, Before That Kind Of Crap Happens, Let Me Ask Y'all A Really (To Me, At Least) Philosophical Question:

Death eventually comes to us all,
Like how a rise is tailed by a fall,
But while we live, can we stand tall,
And leave our name in fame's Hall?

For no success can be eternal,
Life's only forever in a journal,
When our rewards are temporary,
Or when it is not contemporary,
When it is not ours to fully enjoy,
Is it really worth the best we deploy?

With All That's Happened, My Answer Is No. Do Any Of Y'all Have A Different Opinion? Do Share Your Reason For It As Well.

Until Then, Adieu To Y'all.

Tribute No.2 - Gundam Epyon

This Is Very Much Inspired By Yat's Tribute To Char And Amuro. But Since I Think The Suit Has A Greater Implication That Its Pilot Or Creator, The Tribute Goes To It Directly.

Codenamed Epyon, Greek for 'Next',
Immortal Honour its image reflects,
Its awesome power matched only by one,
Proving that a sword,
Can be mightier than any gun.

Within a twin head dragon resides,
A fearless knight, a turner of tides,
Bringing into battle an unmatched grace,
While still staring at death in the face.

Foolish was any reason for war,
When life is something to adore,
And when humans were not at the core,
No life is lost, but the chaos is more.

To realize such foolishness, men must fight,
Only in knowing grief and loss,
Will we know what is right,
For this reason, the Epyon was born,
To enlighten mankind, its duty sworn.

Though much blood it has spilled,
And all its foes fear its skill,
Honour and wisdom it has instilled,
To all who knew its creator's goodwill.

This is my tribute to the fearsome suit,
To its bitter efforts and sweet fruit,
Its every detail beautifully drawn,
The one and only Gundam Epyon.

Well, There It Is. Now If Only Bandai Will Revive It And Make An MG Grade Of The Thing.

Adieu To Y'all. It's Like A Cinema With Multiple Movies On Air At The Same Time Here! XD

Immortal Vengeance

A rare gift I bestowed on one,
But used against me is what was done,
Thank you for giving me reason to hate,
The best gift to me by fate.

Indeed what I saw was all a play,
Intended to lead me astray,
What I heard was even worse,
My very nature it did perverse.

I was really just a mere tool,
And to play along, I was such a fool,
But two more were added as a result,
To the list of people who support this insult,
They too wish for it to happen,
'Ian Must Die' in their minds fully laden.

It was you who encouraged me,
And now you chop me down like a dying tree,
So indeed you are full of hypocrisy,
Thou shall never hear more words from me.

You know not beyond what meets your eye,
Who are you to say it's a lie?
You don't have what it takes to even try,
To live a day as Ian Must Die!!!

My fidelity was wrongly placed,
Infinite shame I have then faced,
To be blinded by such a trifle,
My clairvoyant eye completely stifled.

Now I know more than ever,
To trust this eye in every endeavour,
For confirmed it is now, what it once saw,
Painless breath I can now draw.

Glad I am that I remain who I am,
A relentless soul that stops at nothing,
A demon that will not scram,
Once I set my sight on something.

Though I thank you for reviving my fire,
But regretted you have, and end it you tried,
But all these games I grow to tire,
Your greatest wish shall be forever denied.

You shall never see a shadow of me,
Where you are, that's where I won't be,
A presence as mine is undeserving,
Just as yours would be unnerving.

Proud I am now to embrace the dark,
For I am forever a stark,
Destined to leave an unacceptable mark,
A revolution will finally spark.

Hail to a darkness divine,
Through this void a light will shine,
From the angst of cursed memories,
A just revenge to cure my misery.

Immortal Observer

This charade they continue to play,
When it is obvious as the light of day,
More pain for me is what they desire,
To burn me with my own immortal fire.

Perhaps the purity that I've seen,
Was nothing but a screwed up show,
All fun and games it has been,
With sincerity placed down below.

I realize I've been fed another lie,
It hurts me so much that I can die,
But now something else I observe,
As I watch my beloved dove fly,
I see no more of the elegant curve,
Strange it is, and I wonder why.

Separated against her will,
Perhaps an expectation to fulfill,
Sorrow now engulfs the pair,
And one of them I would beware.

Burn me they will, but I shouldn't care,
For whatever happens between them
Is never my affair,
For observe is all I'm allowed,
As my presence must remain in shroud.

It's like looking through a sniper's scope,
But could never pull the trigger,
For the moment I succumb to hope,
I land myself in something bigger.

This is my tale as I tell it,
From a distant point of view,
A part I've played, I admit,
But the end is twisted in lieu.

Things will never be the same again,
What was before, I could only pen,
If the night is darkest before the dawn,
Then I would forever envy them,
For what awaits them that I'll never have,
Is a brand new Avalon.

Immortal Solitude, Soon

After Much Reflection And Recollection, I Realize, Indeed, Solitude Is Really The Best Kind Of Life For Me. Not That I Want To Be Alone Eternally, But Just That, It's Only With The Distance Can I Really Enjoy Friendship. Because... Uh... Well, This Is Hard To Put In Words Actually.

Put It This Way. Only With The Distance And The Lack Of Propinquity Can I Truly Enjoy To The Fullest What It Feels Like To Have Friends. Without Screwing Up. Yes, Main Point Being 'Without Screwing Up'. I Mean, I Like The Idea Of Friends, And How They Are There When You Need Them And All, But I'm Always Scared I Screw Things Up. Because I Always Do, Hence The Fear. Because It's Nice To Know That There Are People That You Can Really Talk With, Crap With Even, People That You Can Really Feel Comfortable And Cozy And Whatnot In Their Presence. And When You Find These People, You Really Don't Wanna Let The Shit Hit The Fan And Mess Things Up Between You And Them. Which Happens WAY Too Often To Me.

I Remember There Was A Time That Some Shit Happened And A Friend Of Mine And I Myself Never Spoke To Each Other For More Than 1/2 A Year. Something I Said/Done, But Never Found Out What, Even Till This Day. But Thanks To The Magic That Is Time And Space, Things Are Fixed And Now We Are More Than Just On Talking Terms; Back To Being Really Good Friends.

And Now The Exact Same Tragedy Is Happening; Something I Said AND Done, And I Know Perfectly What They Are, BUT, After The Shit Hits The Fan It Splatters Around The Floor With A Totally Different Pattern, And A Familiar One At That; One That I Doubt I'll Ever Be Prepared To Face, No Matter How Many Times It Recurs.

I Myself Lost Count Of How Many Times Such A Fate Befell Me. Which Is Why I Finally Decided, Solitude Is For The Best, For Myself And People Worthy Enough To Be My Friends, Because With The Scarce Interaction I Won't Get The Chance To Mess Our Relationship Up, And If They Deem Me Unworthy Of Being Their Friend, Then They Can Just Forget I Ever Existed. There, A Rare Win-Win Situation In A Zero-Sum-Game World.

And Since I'm A Damn Weird Person Who Only Gets Homesick Upon Returning Home After A VERY Long Time Away From It, I Also Find That I Miss Friends When Communicating With Them Directly After A VERY Long Time Of Not Keeping In Touch. And Y'all Who Know Me Well Would Also Know That I Don't Communicate Much With People, Let Alone In Person. So Whenever After A Some Weeks/Months When I Decide To Text/IM/Call Someone Or Receive Them From Someone, It'll Just Strike Me; How Damn Long Was It Since We Last Talked, Damn I Miss This Person. Even More So When We Actually Meet/Gather In Person.

I Start To Miss The Guys Of 19 When They Ask Me To Join A Game Of DotA Through GG. I Miss Them Most When We Actually Gather At One Place For A LAN Game Of DotA.

I Start To Miss The Girls Of 19 When They Call For A Meeting To Discuss Our Next Trip Somewhere For The Semester Break. I Miss Them The Most When All Of 19 Gather During Our Outing Before Bed For Something Like A Pillowtalk Session For The Whole Group.

I Start To Miss The People Of TB1 (That Are Not Here In Kampar) When I'm Informed That They'll Be At Some Event That I Can Make It To, Or When Some Of Them Plan To Actually Come Up North To Kampar Itself. I Miss Them Most When I Actually Meet And Talk To Them, Be It Here In Kampar Or Wherever We Have Our Foundation Reunion, Although As Y'all Know, I Won't Be The One Talking Much.

So To Every Single Friend Of Mine Who Would Willingly And Sincerely Reciprocate These Feelings And Emotions Of Friendship, Especially Those With Me In May 2009 PY Intake, Please Forgive Me, For I May Not Appreciate Y'all The Way Y'all Would Me At This Time. Perhaps After We Graduate, Go Our Separate Ways And Live Our Separate Lives, Will I Truly Value The Priceless Blessing That Is Your Companionship During These 3 Years In UTAR. And I'll Dedicate A Masterpiece Of Mine To All Y'all Who Have Given Me The Privilege Of Your Company When I Can Achieve My (Almost) Immortal Solitude.

Speaking Of Which, The Poem By The Title 'Immortal Irony' That I Promised Y'all Is Complete, But I Unwittingly Added Too Much Juicy Stuff Into It That I Decided It Won't Be Posted Anytime Soon. Perhaps After The Dust Of The Incident Has Died Down.

Adieu To Y'all. And I Thank Y'all For Really Adding Spice To My Life.