Breaking The Breaking Point

Or Rather, Just Breaking The Long Hiatus. Yes Fellas, I'm Back No Matter How Much You Don't Like It.

This Past Semester Holiday Has Been The Longest And Most Well Spent One. In The Past, Semester Breaks Were Spent Waking Up To The Golden Sunshine Straight To The Face Every Morning, Staring Into The Computer Screen Waiting For Something To Happen All The Way Until Bedtime. And The Cycle Repeats Until Something Undesirable But Inevitable Comes; The New Term. Screw It All. This Time It Was Still The Waking Up And Staring Into The Computer, Only With A Purpose. Right. Staring Into The Computer Screen With A Purpose.

Being The Longest Also Doesn't Mean That It Was Long Enough, Though. That Said, There Was Enough Time In Between For Me To Observe, And Realize Right After, A Very Interesting, Yet Simple, Fact.

People Who Stereotype Aren't Bad People, They're Just Unlucky People. Because It Is Safe To Say That The Vast Majority Of The Human Population Is Stupid. In Fact, The Vast Majority Of Anything Alive Is Stupid. By Our Own Stupid Human Standards, At Least.

There Are Definitely More Untrained Dogs In The World, For Example, Than Trained Ones So By Layman Definitions, An Untrained Dog Is A Dumb Dog, Because The Layman Is Too Stupid To Know That For A Dog To Understand Human Orders They Have To Be Trained, Hence Their Labelling Of Said Dog As Stupid. They May Have (Or Have Had) The Potential Or Talent (Or Whatever Stupid Words That Have Been Invented To Sweet Coat Stupidity) To Learn, But Are Stupid Nevertheless In The Ultimate End In The Given Situation.

Back To The Human Population. Like I Mentioned The Vast Majority Of The Population Is Stupid. Origin, Ethnic And Whatnot Do Not Differ. It's Just That When The Population Of A Certain Race In A Given Area Is More Than That Of Another, We Tend To See More Of The Stupid People From That Race. As A Chinese I Was Raised With The Impression Given By The Community That The People Of The Other Races Are Dumber Than Ever Possible. So It Was Without A Doubt That When I See People Of Said Other Races Doing Stupid Things Like Pulling Dumb Bike Stunts In Busy Streets, I Tell Myself, 'This Is As Smart As They Can Possibly Get'. But In School I Was Infinitely Surprised When Some People From Said Other Races Can Be Intelligent, Civilized, Well-Mannered And Make Good Friends, Even.

Then Recently In A Bus I Saw A Bunch Of Highschoolers Who Are Members Of My Ethnic Group, And I Thought, 'Well, Not Too Bad' As Judging From Their Uniform They Go To Some Non-Government International Kind Of School, So I Also Assumed That They Had At A Decent Level Of Intelligence. But Then The Whole World Went Kablooey. Because When The Bus Arrived At Their Stop, One Of Them Had To 'Press The Bell Repeatedly As It Makes A Nice Ringing Sound (A Sentence From One Of The Books My Mom Used To Teach Me My Manners When I Was A Child)'. Naturally The Bus Driver (Who Ironically To Me Was One Of The People From The Supposedly Dumb 'Other Race' That Turned Out To Be Civilized And Well-Mannered) Gave The Bunch A Predator's Glare And A Short Tell-You-Off, While I Wished He Had Also Thrown In A Good, Long Scolding.

So Yeah. That Day Was The Driver's Unlucky Day To Have Met Idiot Degenerates From My Ethnic Group While It Was My Lucky Day To Have Seen An Intelligent One From His.

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Every Time I Read One Of Jeremy Clarkson's Books I'll Be Given The Free Look As If I've Inhaled Nothing But Laughing Gas All My Life. Maybe I Should Just Read It In Private Next Time. Yes, You Read It Correctly. I Have Another Book. And It Will Keep Me Sane, And The People Around Me Alive, For As Long As There Are Pages I've Not Read.

Adieu To Y'all. And Heads Up, In Case I Don't Do My 'All First Letter Caps' Next Time.

Doomed To Doom Thyself

Again I Am Going To Point Out That Blind People Know Not What Blinded Them In The First Place.

Before It's Too Late, That Is.

I'm SO Riled Up Now Because The Blind Have Tried To Say That Carbon Dating Is Bullshit. They Tried To Deny The Magnificent Discoveries And Creations Of Mankind. Their Argument Is To Say That We All Spawned From A Log And Our Creations Like The Magnificent Convenience That Is Mobile Phones Or The Technological Marvel That Is The F-22A Raptor Or The Bugatti Veyron All Just Manifested Out Of Thin Air.

I Bet That Imaginary Fool Up There, Who Even If Existed Decomposed So Long Ago Nothing Remains, Does Not Know What A V8 Engine Is. So To Try To Find Out, I Did Ask. And Yes. Not Only Did He Not Know What A V8 Engine Is, He Didn't Even Know (And I Doubt He Knows Now) What An Engine Is. Or A Bugatti Veyron. And He Thought Carbon Dating Was A Holiday Package To Europe.

Many People Say 'I Was Blind, But Now I See'. Personally I Think You Better Go See A Doctor Because Hallucinations Are A Sign Of Possible Schizophrenia.

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I've Finished 'The World According To Clarkson' And I'm Regretting It Now. Not Because I Still Have A Paper Tomorrow But Because The Book Is So Hilarious That It's The Only Other Thing That Cheers Me Up When I Absolutely Have To Axemurder Poeple.

Adieu To Y'all And See Y'all Soon. It's Been Too Long.

P.S.: The Supposed Greatest Feeling In The World Is The Ultimate Worst For Me Thanks To The Excessively Blinding Light. Hopefully The Darkness Will Help Me Regain My Vision.

(Fall)Out Of Place

It Would Seem That The Law On P2P Mentioned Before Has Been Passed, And Well, Let's Just Say That Things Don't Look Too Good From Here On Out.

Can't Say It's Unexpected Though. In A World Where Honour, Justice, Virtue And Kindness Were A Thing Of The Past, It Seems That We Are Going Even Further Back Than That, That Is The Time When The Only Thing That Mattered Was The Survival Of The Fittest, Only With A Twist. Today It Is Known As The ‘Survival Of The Richest’ Where Only The Rich Survive And The Richest Of The Rich Rule. So I’m Not So Surprised Anymore That Some People Will Stop At Nothing Until Their Bank Account Balance Has More Numbers Than Their Bank Account Number, Even If This Means Others Will Have To Sell A House To Afford Something That Has The ‘Original’ Stamp Somewhere On It, In Which That Stamp Itself Might Cost No More Than A Toothpick.

Rant Number 2

It’s Ironic, Really, How People Are Inclined To Tell Others How To Live Their Lives, And These People, More Often Than Not, Are The Very Ones That Have Played A Major Role In Destroying It. That Said,I Will Not Condemn The Elders For Ordering Their Pawns Around ‘For Their Own Good’ Nor Will I Scorn ‘Friends’ Who Tell People To Rob The Poor To Feed The Rich ‘Out Of Concern’. This Is, After All, Human Nature. It Is Very Natural Indeed For Us To Want Others To Imitate Ourselves Because We Assume What Works For Us Will Work For Others As Well, Because Others Are Just Like Us; Human. It’s Like Telling A Gambler To Go All Out Because When You Had A Hand Like His You Were Winning. Or A Coolie Telling A Rich Kid How Hard He Has To Work To Afford A Cup Of Coffee. Yeah, Right. The Kid’s Parents Could Afford To Buy The Atlantic Ocean For All You Know.

That Is Why, The Best Of My Friends Are Those Whom I Go Out With, Craptalk About Everything (Each Other Even, Sometimes), Hell, Do Everything True Friends Do To Each Other, The Only Exception Being Telling Each Other How To Live Life. And I Really Can't Wait To Do All Of That All Over Again With Them After My Exams Are Over.

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I’d Probably Be Happier If I Believed In Fate/Destiny And Told Myself That This Rotten Timetable For Next Semester And Exams Was Just Due To Bad Luck Instead Of Some Retard Setting Them The Way They Did. Then Again, It Might Probably Be Less Agonizing To Shoot Myself In The Head. Also, It Seems That Being Depressed Is Having A Mental Disorder. Then, In Other Words, My Dream Came True, Only That I’m Not Mentally Ill Enough To Kill Whoever Deserves My Wrath And Walk Away Scott-Free.

Adieu To Y’all. And More Of The World According To Clarkson For Me.

New Fallout; New Fallacy

I Have Finally Decided That I Will Give Up The Futility Of 'Not Fishing For Sympathy', Because Even If I Would Try To Make My Posts As 'Public-Servicy' As Possible, It Would Never Have Come Up At All Without It First Affecting Me. So In The End It's All For Naught. But Hey, At Least This Is A Sign Of My Youth (Or Rather, Immaturity). Because It Was An Ideal. It Still Is, Actually, And Will Probably Remain One 'Till The End Of Time. And Beyond, Even.

So Much For Majoring In Psychology; You Get The Benefit Of Slapping Yourself With A Fishtail So Hard, People'd Think Bowties Are Now Tattooed Straight Onto The Face Instead Of Worn Around The Collar. Well, On The Bright Side, You're Setting The New Trend.

But Anyway, The Reason I'm Staying Up So Late When I Really Wanna Just Drop Dead On The Bed Is To RANT! With Full Caps Complete With The Exclamation Mark. "What? You're Gonna Rant On Your Blog? You Mad, Crazy Fool, You." Yes. My Immature Head Has Just Figured Out That That's What Personal Blogs Are For. So If I Don't Continue Fishing My 100kg Tuna Here I Won't Be Able To Do It Anywhere Else Without Being Critizised For The Wrong Reasons.

So Here Goes, Rant Number 1

Recently There's News About How Malaysian ISPs Are Gonna Terminate Users Who Use P2P. And This Was Forced Onto Them By The Empty-Headed Head Of RIM (Recording Industry Association of Malaysia) To 'Curb Piracy'. Well, Curbing Piracy Is Alright And All, But That Coming From The Bunch Of People Who Forced The Citizens To Resort To Piracy In The First Place Is Laughable, If Not Downright Ironic.

The Number One Reason (IMO At Least) That People Resort To Piracy Is Because The Original Stuff Are So Hard To Find, It's Probably Easier To Strike The 6D Than To Find The Non-Mainstream Stuff. A Very Good Example Will Be Music CDs. Sure, Its Easy To Find CDs Of International Artists Like MCR, Josh Groban Simple Plan And The Likes But What Of Those Who Prefer Japanese Music? And Even For Japanese Music There's Only The Mainstream Ones Like Ayumi Hamasaki, Namie Amuro, Utada Hikaru. So How About The More Alternative Ones? I Swear I Have Never Seen Albums Of T.M. Revolution, m.o.v.e, See-Saw, FictionJunction, Not Even Nami Tamaki Before. And ONLY ONCE, Out Of Sheer Luck Have I Seen A Mika Nakashima Album, And Everytime I Think Of It The Regret Of Not Buying It At That Time Is More Agonizing Than Gringing My Every Single Tooth To Dust.

Then There's The Supposed 'Original' DVDs. Screw Them. Sure, It Has The Original Stamp On Them, But Everytime I Decided I Should Buy An Original Anime DVD Back Home, I Get Rewarded With Subtitles So Bad The People Responsible For It Themselves Wouldn't Understand Half Their Own Work, And That Is Already An Overstatement. What's Worse, There's This Watermark That Says, Subbed, Coded By 'So-And-So' Fansub. So What, The 'Originals' Are Just Ripped Off From Some Fansub Which Clearly Mentions 'This Is A Free Fansub, Not For Sale' On Their Works And Then People Are Made To Buy Them Because Downloading Direct From The Fansub Is An Act Of Piracy!? Heck, I Might As Well Learn The Language And Just Stream Japanese TV.

Then There's The Price. It's No Secret That Malaysian Tax Is So High That Whatever Anyone Buys, The Tax Collected From It Is Enough To Buy A Second One. Literally 100% Tax. So Since We Can't Find It In Our Local Stores We Have To Go Import Directly From Japan Or Whatever The Country Of Origin Is For Your Product, Get It No Cheaper And Waste That Much More Time.

Seriously. These Money-Grubbing Cash-Addicts Aren't Doing Anything About The Smaller Steps Like Stopping Junkies Breaking Car Windows And Stealing Laptops But They're Taking The 'Big' Step Of Curbing Piracy? Nonsense, I Say. There's No Doubt That They'd Be Breaking Car Windows Themselves If They Can Justify That As 'Curbing Piracy', For The Sake Of The Extra Cash.

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Lately I've Gotten Hooked On Watching Top Gear, And Have Developed This Liking To Jeremy Clarkson's Blunt Honesty And Brutal Sarcasm. And I Happened To Stumble Upon A Book Titled 'The World According To Clarkson' Which Seems Like A Compilation Of Some Of His Articles. No Doubt I Bought It. And So Please Forgive Me If I Fail Miserably In Imitating His Snide Style. Which I Expect To.

Adieu To Y'all. And Kiss The Selfless Ian 'IMD!!!' Chee Goodbye, Forever.

Fallout Fallacy

Been Not As Long A Time As I Hoped, But I Guess The Urgency Precedes My Own Selfish Wishes.

They Say That Every Man Worth A Damn Is A Hypocrite. I Would've Begged To Differ, But Unfortunately For Me, I Now See Evidence Of The Truth Behind The Sentence.

Either That, Or I Would Doom Myself To Never Be A Someone For The Sake Of Not Being A Hypocrite. But Perhaps The Former Is Worse, And I'd Rather Be A Nobody Than A Hypocrite.

Why This Same Old Crap On Honesty And Hypocrisy Again? Well, People Do Many Things That They Don't Mean. And It Hurts Me, If Anyone, To See People Showing Me A Sweet Smile On Their Faces When I Know They Don't Mean It. Damn, I'd Rather You Keep Your Distance Like How You Usually Do And Be Yourself Instead Of Putting Up This Act Of Kindness Just Because Everyone Else Is Doing It. Hell, By All Means, Smite Me Openly, Publicly Even. Just Don't Put Up That Show. It Painful For Me To Watch Even If It's Not Tiring For You To Put Up The Shit. And I'm Sure I'm Not Being An Exotic Weirdo For Thinking So, And Thus I'm Like Making A Public Service Announcement With This.

Well, Main Point Being, And Damn I Love This Quote:

"It Is Better To Be Hated For What You Are, Than To Be Loved For What You Are Not." Gide (1869-1951 French)

Unless You Actually Enjoy It, Then Please Go Find Someone Else To Do It To. But Then Again, Probably I Have You To Thank, Because I've Been Dying To Share This; Quoted From A Namesake Of Mine:

I still can't forget you. I love how the memory of you makes everything else in the world look wonderful...

...by comparison.

Though All The Ugliness Of This Cold War Could Be Avoided, I Guess It Could Only Be Avoided If Different People Were In The Shoes Of All The Involved.

All The Ugliness Aside, Thanks Everyone. For Spicing Up This Otherwise Boring Life With All The Good, Bad And Ugly That Makes This Life Uniquel Mine.

Adieu To Y'all. And This Marks The Beginning Of The 3rd Decade Of My Life.

P.S.: War Does Not Determine Who Is Right, Only Who Is Left.

Once Upon A Time, Yet In The Distant Future.

This Post Should've Been Up Last Week, But Due To Stuff That No One Needs To Care About, It's Up Now.

I'm Starting To Like My Lecturer, Mr Tan Kok Wei. Though He's Extremely Sarcastic During Lectures (Sarcasm Is Somewhere On The Top In The List Of Things I Hate), But His Tutorial Classes Are Really The Thing That Universities Lack, And Must Have; Open Discussion Sessions Where People Actually Get To Voice Out Their Views On How They Apply The Stuff That They Shove Up Their Heads In The Real World. Sadly However, Through Voicing Out My Ideas And His Criticism, We Have Indirectly Formed An Equation:

University = Study, Memorize, Ideals
Practicality = College, Vocational School
Thus University =/= Practical

Because People Come To University To Memorize Information, Not Apply Them In Life. Even The Highest Level Of Education That Can Be Obtained From Universities Is The PhD, Or Doctor Of Philosophy. Thus All We Learn Are Pointless Information In Our Undergrad, Finally Some Practicality Depending On The Choice Of Our Specialization For Masters And All Impractical Ideals And Philosophies For PhD. Also Meaning That People Pay More For People Who Can Come Up With Grand Ideas But Cannot Make Use Of / Apply Basic And Useful Information Instead Of People Who Get The Job Done But Lacking In Creativity. Which Leads To Another Equation:

Dream = Higher Pay
Work = Lower Pay

Though Excuse My Choice Of Words. I'm Trying To Keep The Equations As Short As Possible. Although Exaggerated, The Basic Idea Remains. People Who Are Able To Make Use Of What They Learn Are Being Rewarded Less Than People Who Come Up With Ideas And Make Others Learn.

I Kept Thinking To Myself: If This Is How The System Works, Then What Is The World Coming To? Now That My Refusal To Accept The Way Reality Is Was Countered And Criticized, It Only Confirms To Me That Reality Rules. Ideals Are Destined To Fail Epicly. In Other Words, World Peace = Epic Fail. Immorality Suddenly Became The Most Moral Thing. Because To Survive One Cannot Afford To Be Selfless, Thus Selfishness Is The Way To Go Because It Is Immoral To Not Want To Survive Because Not Wanting To Live Equals Suicide. And Every Other Thing Along Those Lines.

These May Make No Sense To Most Of You, But It All Relates. Me Putting Them In This Short Equation Just Brings The Starting And Finishing Point Closer.

But At The Same Time I'm Reminded That Nothing Is True, Everything Is Permitted. So People Are Allowed To Do Stuff That Don't Make Sense In The Name Of Making Sense. Much Like Killing In The Name Of Peace. Or Dividing People In The Name Of Unity. Or Manipulating People In The Name Of Helping Them. Since These Are What War, Religion And Politics, Respectively, Do To People Anyway. Then Again, All Of Them Can Actually Be Used Interchangably Instead Of Each Description Matching Only One Word. And Since Nothing Is True And Everything Is Permitted, Let Me Also Share This With You Before Anyone Starts Flaming Themselves:

Know this before you argue,
There is no truth in this world, only points of view,
From a different angle, something else is true,
From where we stand, the sky may be an azure blue,
But from somewhere else, it is of another hue.

Adieu To Y'all. Food For Thought, People.

Miraculous Comeback, Not.

Much Has Happened Since The Last Post. Infinitely Much. Too Much To Explain Them All, Too Much To Bear Alone, Even. But What's Worse, When I've Decided To Take Them All On, Someone Dear Succumbed To Pressure.

So I Very Much Dedicate This Post To My Bro, Not In Blood, But In Bond. And Of Course Rant Some Shit Of My Own.

And Yes, I've Not Forgotten My Vow To Not 'Fish For Sympathy', Consciously Nor Otherwise, But Rather, This Rant Of Mine Will Also Hopefully Be Not Just A Personal Rant, But Also Be Some Form Of Support, Or In Less Ideal Words, Consolation, For Whoever It May Apply To.

Well First Of All, My Sincerest Apologies To My Bro, Yat. Infinite Apologies For Forcing My Passion Onto You, That Has Put You Through Hell; Making You Experience An Avoidable Burden. I Guess The Gift Of Poetry Really Isn't For Everyone.

Honestly, I Truly Feared That This Day Would Come. And By The Worst Of Luck, It Did. I Always Knew That What Works For Me Would Never Work For Others, But It Just Felt So Good To Have This Gift That I Felt That It Must Be Shared. But Then Again, How Many Would See Darkness As A Gift The Way I Do? How Many See The Blinding Light As Corruption The Way I Do?

The Very Eerie Darkness That Scares The Crap Out Of People Is The Serene Darkness That Calms My Senses. The Very Light That Enlightens People Blinds Me. I Guess I Am Truly The Only Devil Among Men. Perhaps This Sets Me Apart From All Others; People Hold On To Hope While I Accept Despair With Open Arms.

But Perhaps In This Guilt Of Mine I Have Guided You To Find Your True Self. It Is As You Quoted, "There Is No Need To Pretend,Simply Do What You Can," And Similarly, "It Is Better To Be Hated For What You Are, Than To Be Loved For What You Are Not." Gide (1869-1951 French)

Thus I Have Chosen The Path Never Before Traversed. I Have Chosen To Outcast Myself And Be Who I Am: A Person Beyond Mortal Comprehension, Beyond Mortal Compassion. I Chose To Be Antisocial, To Be Like The Cantonese Saying 'If You Can Say It, Then You Must Be Able To Do It'. With That I Free Myself From Hypocrisy That So Many Mere Mortals Condemn Themselves Into With Words Like "Life is not just about myself, but also about my family, and also friends around me," Meaningless Words That They Can Merely Utter, But Never Hold On To.

Thus I Shall Be Hated For What I Am, An Antisocial Who Couldn't Care Less About A Self-Destroying World Than Be Loved For What I Am Not, A Person Who Pretends To Care But Deep Down Inside, Makes Use Of Others Like Tools Without A Care For Their Feelings. I Shall Be Hated For Embracing The Darkness That Enlightens Me, Than Be Loved For Pretending To Revel In The Corrupting Light.

Though It Breaks My Heart To See You Stop Poetry, I Guess It Shatters It To See It Doing Such Harm To You. And Though Most Of My Original Works Are Lost To A World Of Petty Thieves, Here I Am Again To Give You My First Work Ever Since That Tragic Incident.

The Devil watches another fall,
Deviating from his unnatural call,
He knows that he shall not squall,
For it is fate that alone, he stands tall.

Leaving footsteps that none can follow,
Unfathomed depths among the shallow,
He flies alone like a lone sparrow,
Leaving this world, one so hollow.

The Devil was glad, though, for one thing,
A cohort has found a brand new spring,
A true path in which he remains king,
Without His aid, no more under His wing.

He realized His own true power,
A massive unfathomable tower,
As He marched on alone,
In the peace of his companion,
For His sins He has done atone.

Since You Have Found Your True Path, All That Is Left That I Can Do Is To Wish You A Safe Journey Ahead. Though For One Thing, Perhaps Deep Down Inside, I'm Glad That You're At The Very Least, More Normal That I Can Ever Be.

Adieu To Y'all. Now We Shall Carry On Our Separate Ways.